Where did my year go?

     I can't believe that 2018 is almost over.  I haven't taken time to write about the year, my thoughts or any of the random things that pop into my mind.  I miss it....just taking time to sit at the computer with my coffee and seeing my thoughts written down.  I don't have any excuses, life wasn't any crazier than normal, I just didn't make this my priority. A good friend of mine has posted on Facebook about how so many people think that they need to start a new way of life on January 1, but the time to start something new is right now, not tomorrow.  He is right, starting today, I will make time to write, either here or in my journal.

     One of my favorite Facebook features is the Memories section.  I love seeing old pictures, old updates, the silly things, or just the trivial things that make up my life.  That's what this blog does for me. It is my place to share what I want, to put my thoughts into something that make sense for/to me. I am sad to see that I only did that one other time in 2018.  Really, 2018 was a pretty good year for me and my family!

     Jim started a new job.  It sucked for the first four months.  He traveled for most of the week those first months.  It has paid off now though.  He is home on Sundays.  Saturdays are short days, on the days that he has to work.  There's no more working until 10 or ll, going in at 5.  It's been a blessing.  He had to go through a bunch of hard stuff to get to the point of leaving his old job...really ugly things, but it has been for the best.  He actually has holidays off with his new job.

     Delainey has blossomed.  She has forged new friendships, strengthened old ones, and is ready to head into being a teenager (I am not so sure that Jim and I ready, but we can't stop time).  Her artistic talent has been growing.  She had a pottery piece shown at the Indiana State Fair (and came home with a blue ribbon).  She joined Color Guard in the school marching band.  She is playing her flute in pep band.  She spent a week in Michigan, working on her pottery, and gaining independence from her parents.  She was a CIT (counselor in training) at the YMCA summer camp.  She is amazing.

     As a family, we have had to do some hard things, but we all have to do that at times.  We left our church in town.  We have had to tighten our belts a little more at times.  We have had to adjust our schedules for others.  We weren't able to take a big vacation this year.  But the good things have far outweighed the hard things.  We found a church that challenges us and meets the needs of our whole family.  We always have enough, even when we think that we don't.  We have been able to take some day trips, instead of a big trip.  It all balances out.

     As for me, I am hanging on.  I have strengthened some friendships, made some new ones, and am learning to let go of other relationships...without guilt.  I feel like I was in a holding pattern in 2018...and I know that it's okay.  Now it's time to take off, time to create, explore, and move into 2019.  I am looking forward to the adventures that I know will be heading my way!

Standing Still or Still Standing?

     I have several friends who are starting new jobs...some are starting entire new careers.  I have other friends who are going back to school.  I watch them and am amazed at their courage to start something new.  Meanwhile, I have been with the same company for 25 years.  Right now, my job gives me the flexibility that I need as a parent and a caretaker.  I am able to come home if there is an emergency.  I am able to take Delainey where she needs to be for school activities.   As for school, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, so I don't even know where I would start.

     I have several friends who have been on a journey to better health...losing weight, working out, and eating better.  I am so very proud of them.  It takes hard work, dedication, and effort to do that.  Meanwhile, I am carrying the same weight that I have for years and have sore achy muscles on a regular basis.  Most days I am just happy that we are not eating fast food.  Meal planning takes time, but I know that it saves time (and money) in the long run.  Finding the time to do these things will make life easier for all of us...and it will make me a happier person.  But right now, I struggle to find the time to do the simple things in life, let alone plan things.

     I have some close friends how have been deepening their faith through Bible study groups, planning mission trips, and new fellowship with others.  I love seeing God work in the lives of my friends.  I on the other hand, am struggling.  I am still strong in my faith in God, but I don't feel that connection that I have had in the past.  Again, this is a matter of making the time...time to read my Bible and devotional, time to meet with others who will encourage me in my journey.

     The reality of my life right now is not what I had planned.  I don't think that anyone plans to stand still.  I think that the goal is always to just keep swimming like Dory tells us.  I want to always reach for something new, something to improve myself and my family, something to make me a better person.  I don't like standing still...I feel like I am on pause.  But maybe, just maybe, I need to celebrate that fact that with all the things going on around me, I am still standing.