Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"Wow God" Moment

     I had a "Wow God" moment at my Bible study class a few weeks ago.  The class I am in is studying the book of Genesis.  This is only the second time I have gone to a Bible study, I can't believe that I haven't gone sooner.  I certainly don't claim to be much of a scholar.  I have to hunt to find things in the Bible.  I know the important things....God loves me.  I know the stories in the Bible, but I have never taken time to read or study much of the Bible.  So during class, I was struck with the lesson from Genesis.

     "And God blessed them and said to them, be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves on the earth"                    Genesis 1:28
                                                                                                                         
     I know this verse (not from memory because I have a middle age memory), but when I read it this time, it really struck a chord with me.  We are in charge of the earth.  God gave us dominion over the animals, we are told to subdue the earth.  Wow, what a responsibility that we have been given.  I keep saying that I want to recycle, to be more aware of the environment.  Now it isn't something that I want to do, it is something that I should do.  I can't wait to get moved into our new home and set up a recycling center. 

     Maybe someone else will read this verse and not see what I see.  That's okay with me.  This verse has just struck such a chord with me, that I can't wait to read and learn more!
 

Monday, March 28, 2011

Tired

This move is wearing me out. 

I miss Jim.

Delainey misses her daddy.

I have clothes here and there, but never where I need them.

I am ready to start my new job.

Mostly, I ready to have my family under the same roof.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Better

     I read a book a few years ago about a group of women who met for dinner each month.  Every year, they would each choose a word that would define their year.  I have wanted to do this ever since, but I haven't until now.  This year my word is "better".  I don't mean better as in "I am better than anyone else", I want to be a better Nancy.  I am not bad, but I know that I can be better in several areas of my life. 

     A better wife....Jim would tell you that I am a great wife.  I know that he is an awesome husband.  He is so patient with me.  I snap at him.  I expect him to read my mind.  I expect more from him that I expect from others.  I want to snap at him less.  I want to express my needs and wants to him so that he doesn't have to read my mind.  I want to give him more of my time.  Date nights are hard to come by, especially after we move, but I need to give more of my time to us.

     A better mom....I am a good mom.  There are always ways to be better.  I want to play more with Delainey.  Sometimes I forget to play with her, I expect her to play alone instead of sitting down to play alongside of her.  I need to have a better plan for bedtime.  Tonight is a prime example of needing a plan for bedtime, when Delainey finally went to sleep, we were both unhappy.  I want her to have great memories of childhood.  I want to make sure that I do better all of the time as a mom.

     A better Christ-follower...I attended church when I was in school.  During college, I stopped attending church and I didn't find a church home until a year ago.  That was a long time to be without a church.  I never stopped believing in God, but I stopped having a relationship with him.  During the past year, I know that my faith has become stronger and deeper.  I have a relationship with Christ that is very important to me now.  I want that relationship to be better because I think all of my relationships will grow stronger.

     A better Nancy...I want to spend time with me, learning about the things that I enjoy and then doing them more!  I want to be healthier, which means more exercise, less processed foods, more local foods.  I just want to be the best me that I can become.

     At the end of the year, I hope that "better" has been a true theme for me.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Daylight Saving Time

     I don't hate changing time like so many other people.  I grew up changing time twice a year.  Then I went to college and didn't change time anymore.  I loved it!  The same time all year round was a great thing.  Several years ago, Central Indiana decided that Daylight Saving Time was a good thing.  Spring ahead, Fall back....whatever!  I know the saying, but I still don't remember which way to change my clocks!

     I have never struggled with adjusting to the time change in the past.  This year, it is kicking my butt!  I have to force myself to go to bed at night.  When I do, I struggle to get to sleep.  In the morning, I hit my snooze button way to often.  I have never been a big morning person, but I don't remember ever struggling so hard to wake up each morning.  I am tired all day.  I would blame this on middle age, but Delainey is only 5 and she is having the same issue.

     My child who almost always "pops right up"~her saying, not mine~is dragging herself out of bed each morning.  Her bedtime is 7pm and normally she is sleeping within thirty minutes or so.  One night this week, it was almost 10.  I let her stay home with the in-laws one day because she wouldn't wake up.  She slept until 7 am that morning.  This is a child who rarely sleeps past 6am.  Tonight she went right to sleep after church.  Hopefully her body is adjusting.

     I hope that we both do soon.  I need my sleep. 

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Change.....

     I am not a big fan of change.  I don't like change at all.  I am content in my comfort zone, I don't like to be pushed out of my comfort zone.  I am getting ready to make some major changes in my life soon.  I know that the changes will be for the best in the long run, but right now, the change is scary.

     I grew up in a small town, a really small town.  I enjoyed living there, but I was ready to move after college.  I found a job in that small town, so I stayed longer.  I moved to the city, 21 years ago.  I love living in the city.  I love having shopping nearby, I love having everything close and convenient.  Jim has been transferred....to a small town.  Small town living was not in my plans, but Someone has different plans for me.  I am hoping that the change of pace will be good for the whole family.

     I have worked for the same company for over 18 years.  I have had the same job within the company for 15 years.  I like my job and I am good at it.  I work in retail, but in the office area.  I have cushy hours, off almost every weekend and home by 4:30 during the week.  It is a job that people don't give up very often.  There are no openings for my job in my new area.  I will be working on third shift stocking merchandise.  It will be a big change, but the stress level will hopefully be much lower.  I am excited about the change, but worried about how third shift will affect my family.

     Just over a year ago, my family found a church home, The Promise.  I love our church.  It is a source of comfort for me in so many ways.  Our pastor baptized Delainey last summer.  It was one of the most moving events of my life.  I have grown so much because of the people at The Promise.  I don't like the thought of leaving such a place.  Through many experiences at my church, I am more prepared to make this move. 

     I don't like change, I don't think I will ever like change, but I am learning to embrace change. 

     Change is good, right?!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Friends

     I think that my upcoming move has made me really think about my friendships over the years.  I have been so lucky that I have had some great friends that have had so much impact on my life.  From my friends in junior high to my "adult friends", I have been so very blessed.  Through the internet, I have reconnected to many people from my past.  I love that I have spent time with old (and I mean middle aged) college friends.  We are much calmer, no shots or panty raids, but we can still talk for hours.  My best friend from junior high is now a grandma.  Back in the day, I couldn't picture either one of us as moms, let alone grandmas!

     Chy and Jan were my best friends in high school.  I don't see or talk to either one of them often, but when I do, it's like time has stood still.  They were my friends, but they were also family.  They had families that included me in their lives.  Jan's dad taught me to drive and let me learn to parallel park on his farm.  Chy's parents took me out for my first legal drink on my 21st birthday.  The three of us got into lots of trouble back in the day, but we always had fun! 

     I had a great group of friends in college, but life happened and I lost touch with most of them until recently.  "Mrs.Haney" and I always managed to stay in touch.  I think that it was due to her more than me, but I am glad that she did.  She is my "go-to" person when I need a shoulder.  She has meetings in town often, so we try to get together when we can.  She never judges and is always supportive.  She is one of those people who always seems to have everything together.  I wish that I were more like that in many ways.  I think that I need a road trip before I move even farther away from her. 

     I have a "gang" as well, the Chicks.  The four of us used to work at the same store.  I can't remember how we started hanging out, but we bonded.  We all have matching chick tattoos on our ankles, our children are "chicklettes", our men are "chick guys".  We have been through marriages, divorces, births, deaths, and cancer together.  We are scattered, but it only takes a phone call for us to come together.  That's what families do and we are family.

     Through a local mom site, I have a group of "mom" friends.  Without these women, I would have no social life.  I found my church home, The Promise, because of a friendship that developed on the site.  Delainey's daycare provider and I have become friends on line and in real life.  I have a group of moms that are young moms (most of them are 30 or younger), but they have children the same age as Delainey.  I tease them about hanging out with a middle age mom like me.  I have a group of middle age moms that I meet with monthly.  They don't all like the term middle age, but since we are all over 40 now, it fits.

     My friendships sustain me in so many ways.  They give me courage and strength.  They support me and encourage me.  Looking back, the times that I didn't invest time in my friendships, were the times that I was truly unhappy.  I can't be a good wife or mother when I don't take time for me.  Part of taking time for me is spending time with my friends.  With this move, I will need to make an effort to be a good friend and reach out to make new friends.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

This is me.......

     I have written about my family, but I haven't really written much about me.  I am not big about talking about myself, but I really should give a little information about myself. 

     I am on my second (and last marriage).  I have a teaching degree that I haven't used officially in over fifteen years.  I have worked in retail for over eighteen years.  I have spent most of my time in a office, but once I transfer, I will be working on third shift doing whatever needs to be done.  The job change is pretty major, but I think it is the best option for my family right now.

     I love to eat, cook, and try new recipes.  I don't love to exercise.  It is true that when you reach middle age, weight doesn't leave easily.  I would use that as my excuse, but I have never been skinny.  I would like to be healthier, which means both less weight and better condition.  One step at a time in life!

     I watch to much tv, I read books all the time.  I often read books over and over again.  Books have always been my comfort.  I try to be crafty, sometimes the end result looks great, other times not so much.  I try to be a good wife to Jim and a good mom to Delainey.  I like to camp and hike.  I don't like bugs or heat, so fall camping is the best!  I try to be a good friend.  My friends are very important to me.  I tend to ramble and I talk to myself.   I am a Christian who is learning and trying to live my life the best that I can.

     There you go, that is me in a nutshell.  Nothing exciting, just an ordinary woman trying to do the best that I can.

Why....

     Why am I writing a blog?  I am not really sure.  Maybe I am just following the crowd.  I have several friends who blog.  I love reading blogs.  Maybe I just want to be trendy.  Maybe, I just want to leave some sort of memories online.

     I used to love to write.  In fourth grade, I had a teacher who encouraged us to write.  She let us make "covers" for our stories out of construction paper and then read them to the class.  Yes, we made covers out of paper, it was a long time ago and we didn't have all the binding options that schools have now.  Middle age remember?!  I wrote poems in high school.  I don't have any of them, unless they are in my mom's attic.  I am sure that they are bad poems, but I was happy when I wrote them!

    Maybe this is some way for me to capture that joy of writing.  I have tried to write journals, but I never keep up with them.  Maybe writing a blog will change that for me.  Maybe the reasons don't really matter.  I just hope that I enjoy the process of my blog.