Embarrassing D...the first of many...

     It's official, my teenager has told me that I am embarrassing.  I knew that this was coming.  Some days I do silly things knowing that I am going to hear those words.  When we are grocery shopping and I dance to the music in the store...I know that I will hear it.  When we are in the car and I am singing off key...the way that I usually sing...I hear it.  There are times that she will join in with my singing and dancing, but they are not as often, so I treasure them.

     The newest embarrassing thing that I do is...are you ready for this...I speak to her friends whenever and wherever I see them.  I call them by name.  I speak to her classmates that I know, even the ones that she doesn't socialize with on a regular basis.  Chances are that if a kid has ever been in a class with D, I remember them.  And I speak their name when I see them.  Sometimes they remember me, other times they don't.  At an event the other day, a young man held the door for me.  I thanked him by name.  I got an eyeroll from my child.  At an event Jim and I attended a young man was our server.  I chatted with him, reminded him how I knew him, and I spoke his name.

     I want these young people to know that they matter, that someone knows who they are, that they are remembered.  They might not remember me, but I remember them, I know their name.  I remember them from kindergarden as we went on a field trip in the fall.  I remember them as a first grader singing "Tutti-Ta".  I remember them from reading to the class in third grade.  I remember riding the bus with them going on a fifth grade field trip.  I remember them from swimming club, band, fifth grade choir, hand chimes....I want them to know that someone remembers them.

     D is going to have to deal with the embarrassment because I won't stop doing this.  I won't stop sharing memories of these kids on Facebook.  I won't stop chatting with them when I see them at the local store.  It might be a small thing, but I want these kids to know that I remember them.  I want them to know that I know their name.  I want them to know that they are special, that they are unique, that they are fearfully and wonderfully made.  I will continue to use their names when I see them.

It's just a season...

     Seasons typically only last for a few months each year.  Seasons in our life can be much longer.  Right now, I seem to be a long lasting season of things that are hard...mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically.  There are bright spots in this season, times when I forget the hard stuff, but it's always there, effecting my life and that of my family in ways that we don't always realize.

     The health of Jim's parents continue to decline.  His mom has forgotten how to do so many things now.  She isn't able to do much more than prepare a bowl of cereal or get a breakfast bar.  She can make sandwiches some days.  She is still able to make instant coffee and tea thanks to a one touch tea pot that we have at the house.  She almost always has a smile on her face and wants to be helpful.  She is the only other one in our house that can make the slipcovers look good each day!  Jim's dad continues to have issues with his legs and mobility issues.  His diabetes is under control, but there are other issues that are not.  They continue to depend on each other for help throughout the day.

     Jim is doing well.  His job is going great, it allows for more family time and he is able to be home so much more. Being home more means that he is able to take on more things around the house. Delainey is also doing well.  She makes me proud every day with the decisions and choices that she makes.  She's a teenager, so there are days, but this is part of the season she is in.  We have a new addition to the southern part of our family.  Dylan has moved in with us.  We are happy that he is here...he has helped out with Jim's parents and it's good to spend time with him.  The downside to this is that he has no privacy...we are a three bedroom house that is full.  He has moved into the dining room and we are making it work.

     I am struggling.  My house is a loud house and I am not a loud person.  I haven't taken time to write, craft, or create.  This season has opened my eyes to people around me.  I have a few people who check on me...and many others who don't at all.  I know that everyone is going through things that we don't know about, but it has hurt to see how few friends check on me.  Maybe I need to reach out to people more, but I don't want to be a burden on others.  Maybe I am being judgmental, I don't know, but it's hard when friends have no clue what I am going through because they haven't taken the time to ask.  I am sure that I have been guilty of doing the same thing in my relationships with people.  This season has made me want to reach out to people more, but right now, it's a struggle.  Hopefully as this season passes through my life, I will become more of a person to reach out to others...just to check in on them.

     I know that this is just a season.  I don't know how long it will last...I just know that it will pass. Until then, I need to enjoy the moments that bring me peace, the times that fill me with joy, and the laughter that is around.