Lessons Learned

  2020 was hard...everyone knows that.  But there were lessons learned and growth happened. Things fell by the wayside this year and other things became important.  There were many things that were missed, they can't be replaced.  For many people, priorities shifted.  This was all true in my household.

Jim and I learned that we can do things that we never thought possible.  I am not a nurse.  I don't want to be a nurse, although I think Jim would be a good one.  We became caretakers in a major way for his parents for several months.  It wasn't easy, but I am glad that we did what we did for them.  Their care became pretty intense until we finally weren't able to continue.  Putting them into long term care was hard, but we can honestly say that we did all that we could to keep them home for as long as we were able.  

I have become more appreciative of the quietness.  I have always craved quiet time, but didn't realize how little I was getting until recently.  When there is a family of 5 in the house, including two that are basically housebound, you don't get to be alone often.  It's been nice to be alone.  

I have missed the physical act of going to church.  I miss teaching Sunday school.  We still attend church virtually, but it's different.  I am happy that we have the technology, but I look forward to the day when we can worship physically together.  D misses youth group and Sunday School.  There have been so many people who have worked to keep the youth connected, but it's not the same.  Technology doesn't replace being face to face with people.

Technology is a wonderful thing.  D has teachers that have worked so hard to connect with her.  Virtual learning is not perfect...there is still a long way to go, but in our case, it has been successful.  D has been able to use Google meets, Zoom game nights, and video calls to keep in touch.  Marco Polo has continued to let me see the faces and hear the voices of my friends.

I have enjoyed hiking with my family.  We spent time out in the woods, just the three of us.  I have come to realize that summer is my least favorite time to hike.  Yes, it's pretty and green, but it's also hot.  I don't like to sweat.  Winter, spring, and fall hiking is my thing!  We spent time at several state parks and forests this year.  I am already looking and planning hikes for the next year.

I spent time reading this year.  I didn't spend time on other hobbies.  That's okay.  I read some things that pushed me out of my comfort zone.  I put down books that I didn't like...time is to short to read a book that isn't holding my interest.  I have books on my list to read for next year already.  There are so many books and just not enough time.

I spent time organizing and cleaning.  I have hoarding tendencies...don't most of us?  I gave up things that are just taking up space.  I have more to do, but I know that I can do it!  Everyone in my house has spent time time cleaning and purging this year.  It felt good and as we continue, it will feel even better. My goal is to keep the things that make me happy and give the rest to someone else.

I missed vacations this year, but it was the right thing to do.  Instead we took a few little trips to places that we felt safe.  We stayed outside more and I haven't missed going to stores...much.  There are days that I want to go out and shop, but it wasn't necessary, so I didn't.  Or I shopped online.  I am not saying that we avoided going to stores, but we have been very selective about where and when we go.  

A dear friend says often that the days are long, but the years are short.  There were days that felt like they would never end, but in reality, this year has flown past.  2020 kicked my butt in so many ways, but I am still here and looking forward to what the future holds for me.

Fourteen Years Ago

     Fourteen years ago, I didn't know who the Wiggles were.  I was clueless about the Doodlebops.  I knew which Disney princess was which, but I didn't have their stories committed to memory.  I never sat down to watch an episode of Wild Kratts.  I never thought that I would watch a show called Little Einsteins.  As a matter of fact, fourteen years ago, there were channels on tv that I would have never turned on.

     Fourteen years ago, the color pink wasn't featured predominantly in my house.  I didn't have Barbies (and Barbie movies), American Girl dolls, and Precious Moments figurines all over the place.  I didn't have every ingredient on hand to make slime.  I didn't have arts and craft supplies ready at a moments notice.  I didn't panic if a certain bear wasn't found at bedtime.

     Fourteen years ago, I didn't know about marching band and color guard.  I didn't know about horse riding and swim lessons.  I didn't know about 4H projects, fair entries, and all the work that it takes to get from an idea to a blue ribbon project.  I didn't know about hand chime choirs, National History Day competitions, robotics meets, and poetry readings.

     Fourteen years ago, I didn't know about sleepovers, movie marathons, and shopping with teenagers.  I didn't know how much girls can giggle and eat.  I didn't know what kind of mess that gets left behind after a sleepover.  I didn't know how loud a music practice room can be when everyone is practicing a different song.  I didn't know about working concessions stands and bonding with people over nachos with cheese.

     Fourteen years ago, I didn't have any idea how much my life would be changing.  I didn't know that I would be able to clean up vomit without getting sick myself.  I didn't know that someone else's pain would make me cry.  I didn't know that my mom's words would be coming out of my mouth.  I didn't know that my heart could hold so much love.

     Fourteen years ago it all changed.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Least of These

     Jim and I went on a date Saturday night.   We don't get out alone very often.  D is generally with us when we do things.  She is at an age where she is old enough to stay home alone, but in our house, she wouldn't actually be alone.  Jim's parents live with us.  Normally it would be great to have built in sitters for our family.  When they lived with us six years ago, it worked out very well.  But then changes happened.

     Jim's mom has Alzheimer's.  It is a terrible disease.  She used to be a hard working, smart lady.  This disease has taken so much from her.  She has forgotten how to do many of the things that she did in the past.  Jim's dad had a stroke three years ago.  He used to be a very physical man.  He worked hard and was very independent.  The stroke has taken his independence and many of his physical abilities. They both get frustrated with what they can't do.  And that frustration sometimes comes with loud, angry words from both of them.  And that's why we don't go out alone very often...we don't want to leave her home alone in an atmosphere that can be unpleasant at times.

     But Saturday night we had a date night.  Luckily, the home front was peaceful for the evening.  Jim and I went to a local community theater for dinner and a show with some friends.  We saw the musical Godspell.  It is based on the gospel of Matthew, in a groovy sort of way.  Yes, I said groovy.  It is from the early 70's, so think hippy and groovy.  I mean, at one point Jesus and Judas do a soft shoe number.  I doubt that many people come away with a need to look up Bible verses when they get home.  But I did.

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you,

whatever you did for one of the least of these 

brothers and sisters of mine,

 you did for me."

                                                                                   Matthew 25:40

     Oh my, am I doing for the least of them, the ones who mentally or physically can't anymore?  Am I doing it willingly, with a happy heart?  Or am I doing things grudgingly because I should, because it's the right thing to do?  Honestly, I try to do for others.  I try to be helpful and show kindness.  But in my home, with people who depend on me, am I showing kindness and love?  I will very honestly tell you that the answer is no.  I can give all the excuses in the world, but it doesn't make it right.  I need to do better because He expects better from me.  So, it is time for me to grow...to show love, to be kind and compassionate, to do for the least of these.  

   

Grow...Food

    No, I am not starting a vegetable garden, I do not have a green thumb.  I am growing in my mindfulness about food, again.  Jim and I are on day 20 of Whole30.  I haven't been perfect in keeping of the rules and recommendations of the program, but I have been pretty close.  Jim has done a great job following the rules.  We are both feeling better and thinking about the food that we eat.

     The basic "rules" of the program include no dairy, no legumes, no grains, limited nuts, and no added sugars.  There are very little processed foods that made without these items, so we have been cooking from scratch and using 'real' foods.  Most days we are doing okay with this .  I really miss my coffee...coffee is allowed, but not my sugar and cream.  I am looking forward to adding this back into my mornings.  Jim misses chips.  Sadly, we don't get to jump into eating all the stuff  on day 31.  We add things in slowly to see if our bodies have physical reactions.  It will be interesting to see what happens during that period.

     Jim and I both know how we should eat.  We have both watched the movie Food, Inc (a must watch for anyone concerned about food).  Two of my favorite books are Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver and In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan.  We know the benefits of eating real food, but we also get lazy.  Fast food is convenient, lives are busy, and we get tired.  The last 20 days, Jim and I have been planning our menus.  We have been cooking at home, with fresh ingredients and 'real' food.  We have been enjoying some new meals and have made some favorites healthier.  We have both been cooking, rather than just throwing something in the microwave.

     We won't be able to maintain Whole30 forever, but it's my hope that we take the lessons that we are learning as we move forward.  I hope to continue to meal plan, and cook with healthy ingredients.  As I continue to grow in 2020, I want to be mindful about the foods that I eat.  When I eat better foods, I feel better.  In order to do more this year, I need to feel better.  It is cliché, but it really does start with food.

Word...Version 9

     It's hard to believe that I have been picking a word since 2011 (I skipped a year along the way).  Some words have stuck with me in many ways, others...well it's good that I blogged what they were, because I would have no clue otherwise.  Last year was one of those years.  My word, intentional, is a great word, but I just let it slide.  Some words come to me in a whisper, others as a shout, and others just sing to me.  This years word sang to me.

     Jim and I were watching The Sound of Music the other day.  We love that musical in our house.  When the VonTrapp children started singing Edelweiss, the line "bloom and grow" would not leave my mind.  It played on repeat for days...even after Delainey watched the movie again.  But what word, bloom or grow?  I felt that last year, I was stagnant...I don't feel that I grew much, so I am not sure that I am ready to bloom just yet.  I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just how I feel when I look back on 2019.  So in 2020, my plan is to grow...in many ways.

     I feel that I have put a healthy lifestyle on the backburner for a while now.  My plan is to start Whole30 this month to kickstart better food choices for us.  Jim, D, and I are all attempting this adventure starting on Monday.  I know that we can do it, I have several friends who are planning on supporting me in this journey.  The family and I have also started of the year hiking.  The weather has been amazingly warm here, so we have taken advantage of it twice so far.  We have even taken the dog with us...not easy since she is horrible in the car!

     I also feel the need to grow my faith more this year.  I find time to read almost every day, but I struggle to find time to read my Bible and do a daily devotional.  My priorities need to be adjusted a bit.  I have a group of ladies who I am hoping will hold me accountable for my study time.  As a family, we need to get back to our Wednesday night classes this year.  Again, it is a matter of making it a priority for us...which means planning meals for everyone and making sure that we have time to get to church each week.

     I have several other things that I plan to grow this year...I just need to make a plan and follow it.  I am sure that there will be days that I don't do what I have planned and that's okay.  I also am sure that I will learn things that I can't imagine today.  But here's to 2020 and growing!