Missing the Party...Again

     In the fall of 1984 I packed my things, left home, and moved into a college dorm.  I fell in love with college life.  I loved living in the dorm...there was always someone around if you didn't want to be alone, no matter what time of day.  I was lucky enough to make some friends who lived in the dorm next to mine.  As soon as there was an opening, I moved into that dorm...Schmidt Hall.

     I spent all four years of college living in that dorm.  I thought of moving into other dorms, but Schmidt was my home away from home.  I never even really considered living off campus like many other college students.  I was content in the dorm.  When I got up early on Sunday morning, I had someone to watch wrestling with downstairs in the lobby.  If I was bored, there was always someone doing something crazy like rearranging the lobby furniture into an architectural model.  I went on a canoe trip with my dorm-mates.  That's where I learned that you can brush your teeth and rinse with beer.  I wouldn't advise that, but when you take more beer than water on an overnight canoe trip, you have to do something.  I went with a group of dorm friends to King's Island to celebrate when one of our group turned 21.  That same friend just recently turned 50.

     Some of those dorm friends have been part of my life on a  regular basis since those days. I have reconnected with many more of them through Facebook.  We have been together in sickness and health, marriages and divorces.  We have been together through the birth of our children.  One of Delainey's most prized possessions, her blanket we call Mrs. Hannon, came from one of those friends...it was a roundabout connection through Schmidt, but the connection was there.  We have watched our children grow and have seen a second generation attend (and graduate from) Ball State, although none have lived in Schmidt.

     Why on earth would I be talking about my college dorm friends  today?  Well, many of them are gathering today for the Annual Race Party.  The excuse for the party is the Indy 500, although it really is a side show.  There is no cable or satellite tv, so watching the race  is sketchy at best.  After the race, there will be a rubber duck race or two in the river behind the hosts house.  There will be lots of laughter, catching up, and reminiscing about our college days. Children will be playing, canoes and kayaks will be out, people will be eating and drinking and being merry.

     And I won't be there.  Again. I now live 4 hours from the party.  Jim has to work.  And this month has been crazy busy with so many things going on between school, church, and 4H activities.  So, I will wait to see pictures and updates about the party on Facebook.  I will be there in spirit, but not in body.  I will start planning today to make it to the party next year and hope that life doesn't get so busy that once again I will miss the party.

Part of Getting Older?

     My body is hurting.  I have been having massive pains in my shoulder that are causing numbness in my arm and hand.  My other hand/wrist is aching from carpel tunnel.  My hips ache in the mornings.  My hair is still falling out and I have hot flashes.  I am tired.  And my weight, well, let's just say that it isn't pretty right now.  I have been told that this is all just part of getting old.  I refuse to age this way!

     After a week of pain, Jim called his chiropractor for me.  The doctor did an exam.  There was no trigger for any of my aches and pains, just a gradual building of stress in my body. I haven't been eating right at all....fast food, chocolate, and my weakness, coke have been part of my diet for a while again.  Meal planning has gone out the window.  I have never been a big exercise person, but I at least would go for walks.  Now I come home and collapse on the couch.  I took vitamins and supplements for a while, but I would forget so often that I just gave up the whole process.

     The doctor and I talked.  Until my shoulder is better, I will be seeing him twice a week (hopefully only 2 or three weeks since my insurance doesn't see chiropractic care as important).  I have some stretches to do for my shoulder to help ease the pain, along with Biofreeze, ice. and naproxin.  Exercise needs to become a daily part of my life.  I need to think about the foods that go into my body.  And  I need to research what supplements I should take to make sure that my body stops hurting and starts healing.

     For me, it's all about getting balance back into my life.  I am not going to be someone who blames everything on getting old.  Yes, things change in our bodies as we age, but we can make those changes positive ones.  I am going to greet fifty with a plan in place for exercising and filling my body with the right things for a change.  I plan on being fifty and fabulous!  Now excuse me while I go put some Biofreeze on my shoulder!

Balance 2015

     My word for 2014 keeps finding me.  It just won't let me go.  I was shopping with the family and saw a bracelet that says balance.  I bought it.  A friend gave me a bracelet with water from Mt Everest and mud from the Dead Sea in separate beads...the highest and lowest points on earth.  It is to remind me to stay humble and and hopeful...to stay balanced.

     About a year ago, several things happened that threw me off balance and I am not sure that I have ever fully regained that balance that I was working toward.  It didn't seem right to reuse my word last January, but in hindsight, I was not done with the journey to a more balanced life.  So I am reclaiming the word balance for 2015.  Some day, I will be ready to simplify life, but not right now.  Right now, it's back to finding my balance.

     Balance...finding the right mix of work and home, finding time for me, finding time for Jim and I, finding family time, finding time for God and increasing my faith, finding my path to healthy eating and exercise (I really hate the E word), finding the balance of giving and saving.  

     This is my journey for the rest of 2015.  It all starts with baby steps, wobbly little baby steps that slowly but surely become more balanced as the year goes on.  

Ft. Harrison State Park

     I have been on a staycation this week.  Jim was attending meetings out of state, Delainey was a school, so I had some free time to work on one of my hobbies...scrapbooking.  I don't do fancy scrapbooks.  I don't have the time or the energy.  I get my pictures in the books with some stickers and journaling.  I am lucky that I trim the pictures and make the corners round instead of square.  I am really behind, so I spent time catching up on 2009 and 2011.  Going through our pictures, I found that we visited one place over and over again...Ft Harrison State Park in Indianapolis.
     My family loves going to state parks.  The price is always right since we buy a year long pass for $40.  For that, we get into all of the state parks in Indiana for free.  Most of the parks have hiking paths, picnic areas, and playgrounds, perfect for a day of fun.  If you have never been to one of the state parks, you are missing out on loads of fun.
     Ft. Harrison has so much to offer.  There are some hikes that are paved...good for running, taking a nice easy stroll, biking, or pushing a stroller with little ones.  There are some hikes that are a little more challenging, although none are really rough.  Each season offers beautiful scenery at the park.  We have gone fishing while hiking, waded in streams going through the trails, and cooled off in the shade while walking.
     Delainey's favorite thing about Ft Harrison is the pony rides!  For $3, she was able to get on a pony and while Jim or I led her,  go on a real pony ride.  Every time we went, she wanted to ride her favorite pony, Strawberry.  Last time we were there, we found out that Strawberry has retired.  D was sad that she couldn't see her any more, but so happy that she is enjoying retirement.  Last fall, Delainey was finally able to go on her first trail ride at the park.  We rode through the park on horses that were so calm and gentle.  We enjoyed seeing the park from horseback instead of walking.
     There are several playground areas at Ft Harrison.  One of the playgrounds has a slide built into a hill...big enough for everyone, not just kids.  Delainey makes friends every time we go to the playground.  There are rocks to climb, swings to ride, everything a cool playground should have!  I met a group of moms at Ft Harrison one day for a gathering.  Our kids decided to climb one of the big hills by the playground and then roll down!  Lots of dizzy, itchy (from the grass) kids, but it looked like bunches of fun!
     My family went to Ft Harrison with a photographer friend for some family pictures.  There were many places to go for pictures, we really had to stop thinking about the possibilities.  The pictures turned out great and we have even more memories of the park.  We have seen many people taking family pictures in various locations of the park.
     If you have never been to Ft Harrison State Park, you are truly missing out on one of Indianapolis's gems.  Please take some time this spring (or summer, or fall, or winter) and explore nature.  Every time you go, there are new and exciting things to see!

One family, Three words

     Last year, we had balance as our family word.  It was a good word for the three of us, although we all had slightly different thoughts behind the word.  My balance was out of whack for the latter part of the year, for several reasons.  Keeping balance will hopefully stay part of our family for 2015.  This year, we each have our own word.  We never really talked about a family word, we each had a different word speak to us this year.

com·plete

kəmˈplēt/

verb

1. finish making or doing.

   
   

     Delainey's word is "complete".  I asked her what she means by complete she told me that she is going to finish what she starts this year.  I will be interested in watching this unfold in her year (maybe it will start with cleaning her room).

pas·sion

ˈpaSHən/

noun

an intense desire or enthusiasm for something.

     Jim's word is "passion".  He says that it is "more passion for my family, faith, and life."  I think that Jim has plenty of passion for those things already, but words are personal, so I know that he has his reasons.  I will be eagerly watching Jim's word work through the year as well.

sim·pli·fy

ˈsimpləˌfī/

verb

1. make (something) simpler or easier to do or understand.

   
   

     My word is simplify.  I tend to get caught up in things and become overwhelmed.  I want to focus on the simple things in life over the next year.  I want to take time to enjoy things that have gotten away from me in 2014... hiking, meal planning, cooking from scratch, relaxing with my family.  I want to make life easier for myself and my family.  I have some plans for how I am going to do this, but I don't want to get caught up in the planning and make simplifying my life more difficult.

     A new year is full of promise...adventures to come, dreams to come true, and life to live.  I am looking forward to 2015!  Happy New Year!

In His Shoes

     I am participating in a 30 day marriage challenge.  Each day there are prompts for the day.  Some are simple for me (give him three hugs today), others are harder (go a whole day without correcting him).  Yesterday the challenge was to imagine how it feels to be in his shoes.  I am overwhelmed at how much he deals with each day and still is able to keep a smile on his face.

     Jim has a fairly demanding job...he is a store manager.  Not only does he have to deal with his staff, but he has to deal with the public all day.  Jim is great at dealing with people.  He is able to work with all sorts of people and he rarely lets them get under his skin.  One of his motto's is "Never let them see you sweat".  He treats people fairly, the way that he wants to be treated.  

    I am not easy to live with....I know this about myself, but Jim seems to enjoy living with me.  I am moody, I need to be alone, loud eating makes me cringe, and that is just what I can think of quickly.  And Jim loves me in spite of all of this.  He arranges his schedule so that he is able to spend time with me.  Our marriage is important to him and he works on showing me that he values our marriage.

     Jim is a great father to his children.  No, he wasn't' able to be at every ball game that the boys were in, but if he wasn't at work, he was there.  The boys know that Jim loves them, always, no matter what.  He isn't afraid to say that he loves them.  He  fixes Delainey's hair in the mornings and plays Pirate Daddy at bedtime.  He worries about the choices that all of his children make, but supports them in any way that he can.

     Not only is Jim dealing with me and my moods on a daily basis, but his parents now live with us.  It is a learning process for all of us.  Jim is seeing his parents as they are aging and it is hard.  He is having to balance his time even more now.

     Jim is one of the most modest men that I know.  If he reads this, he will say that it is not a big deal, it's just what he does.  But he does it well.  I am blessed that I am able to walk along side him each day.

Mistakes

     We all make mistakes...it's what we humans do.  We make big ones, small ones, and everything in-between.  Sometimes we know that we are making a mistake even as we do them.  Other times, we realize after the fact that we made a mistake.  The great thing about mistakes is that we can learn from them...even though we don't always learn that lesson the first time.  Some people keep making the same mistakes over and over again until finally they realize there is a problem.

     I have made some pretty big mistakes in my life.  My first marriage was a mistake.  On some level, I knew that it wasn't the right thing to do, but all my friends were getting married, we had dated for a long time, I wanted to start a family.  So I got married...and it wasn't right.  There was no abuse, no ugliness, but there was no true love.  The things I wanted weren't the things he wanted.    It took me a long time to realize that it was a mistake.  I learned what I truly want from a marriage because of that mistake.  It was a big one...I spent several years of my life learning my lesson from that mistake.  My friends and family didn't judge me for making such a big mistake, instead they stood by my side and loved me.

     I make little mistakes every day.  I know that I can't fry chicken...if we want fried chicken, we go out.  I yell to much...I have to ask for forgiveness from my family every time I do that.  I don't always return emails and phone calls from friends right away...they love me any way.   I have forgotten a deadline on a project at work, luckily a coworker picked up my slack...and gave me another chance to do better next time.  Every day I make some sort of mistake in my life, often times more than one.

     Everyone makes mistakes, it's how we respond to them that makes us a better person.  Hopefully, I am learning a lot, because I know I make a lot of mistakes!