Public Speaking

     I have a comfort zone...and public speaking is not part of that comfort zone at all.  In the past, I have avoided speaking to large groups.  It makes me queasy, seriously.  In the last two years, I have been pushed out of my comfort zone in so many ways.  There are things that I feel better about doing, but I am still not comfortable speaking in public.

     Anyone who knows me well, will be happy to tell you that I have no problem talking.  In fact, I am sure that there are people who wish that I would stop talking at times.  I have no problem talking in general~never have!  Talking in front of children has never been an issue for me either.  I truly feel that I am called to work with children in some sort of way, so I am very comfortable with them. Speaking in front of adults terrifies me!

     When I speak in front of adults, I feel that I am being judged.  Do I know what I am talking about?  How well am I speaking?  Am I making the points clearly?  Am I making any sense at all?  All these thoughts are going through my mind as I speak.  It makes it hard to focus on my subject matter when I am worried about how I am presenting it.  In the last two years, I have been speaking at workshops for work.  I am called a SME....subject matter expert.  I know what I do and how I do it, but I struggle with telling a room full of people about my job.  The first time I was asked to do this, I was literally sick to my stomach....I didn't think that I would make it through my talk.  Each time has gotten easier, but I still practice my talk for days before hand!

     Now, I am really being pushed out of my comfort zone.  When I am leading my section of the workshop, I have a certain subject matter to cover.  There is a workbook with all the information I have to share.  I just have to teach that information.  I have been asked to speak at church next month.  I will be writing what I am sayings...the message will be my thoughts, feelings, and words.  No pressure at all!  I am sure that the words will come to me and I will be able to write it out, but the thought of speaking my words has me shaking in my shoes.

     I don't know if I will ever be comfortable speaking in public.  I am not sure why I am being pushed out of my comfort zone in regards to public speaking.  I know that each time it has gotten easier, but it still doesn't feel natural.  Hopefully, if this "pushing" continues, I will be able to do this without the fear that I have each time.