Saturday, June 8, 2019

3:00 am

     3:00 am...middle of the night, early morning, or late night, which is it?  It's all a matter of perspective here.

     There was a time in college that 3:00am was late night.  I spent many days taking naps during the middle of the day in order to be up late at night.  Midnight was a good time for me to study, which put bedtime a few hours later.  I certainly wasn't a morning person when I fianlly had to wake up for classes the next day, and those naps kept me going!   I know that phase didn't last long in life, but man, I still love my naps!

     For the five and a half years that I worked in Louisville, 3:00am was my wake-up time.  I got up as soon as my alarm went off so that I didn't wake up Jim.  I had an hour to get ready for work, then an hour drive to work.  Luckily, I had people also up at that time of day...a friend who worked a similar shift, my younger brother who works third shift.  I miss chatting with them during my early morning drive to work.   I learned that once again, naps were my friend, those "power naps" for fifteen minutes became part of my daily life.

     Now 3:00am is the time of the coulda, woulda, shoulda for me.  It's the time that I randomly wake up and replay events over in my head.  There's nothing that I can do about those events any more, but my 3:00am mind still wants to show me how I could have handled something better.  My 3:00am mind wants to show my how my choices should have been different, more appropriate, more kind, more loving.  My 3:00am mind wants to show me all of my fears for the future.  Some nights (or mornings), I am able to quiet my 3:00am mind.  Other times, I lay in bed and watch the thoughts that are pulled out of left field.  Logic doesn't always work with a my 3:00am mind, so sometimes I give in.  I get up to read, write, or try to sleep in a different room of the house.  I use that time as a quiet time, a window of calm in my busyness.  Usually I am able to defeat my 3:00am mind and go back to sleep for a couple of precious hours of sleep.  That last hour of two of sleep is the difference between being up for the entire day or a nap at some point!
   
     My 4:30am bladder is another matter completely....

   

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