Grace

a virtue coming from God

a temporary exemption; reprieve

the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful*

 I have been thinking a lot about grace lately.  I almost chose it for my word of the year, but it just didn't seem like the right one.  I am struggling to give grace easily.  I have to remind myself to give grace. As my friend said the other day, Grace seems to be staying home and avoiding people these days.  More than ever, we need to give grace to so many people.  I know that I need to be given grace daily as well.

I work in retail.  I don't deal with the public in my position often, but when I do...it's hard.  It's hard to walk by a maskless person and not give them stink-eye.  I know that there are some people who cannot wear a mask, but most of the people I see just don't want to wear one.  I get it, not everyone thinks that they work.  But what if they do?  What does it harm someone to wear one for the short time that they are in a store shopping?  Grace...I need to give it to everyone, not just the people doing what I think they should be doing.  

I belong to a few groups that discuss elder care and families.  There are people in those groups who feel putting someone in long term care is the worst thing that you could do to someone you love.  I struggle to give those people grace.  Each person has different circumstances in their life and no situation is the same.  Honestly, we didn't think that we would be faced with this either.  But at some point, we had to think about the safety of everyone in our family.  It was the right choice for us and I know that we aren't alone in making that hard choice.  I try to give grace to those who think we have done the wrong thing, just I hope they are giving us the same grace.  

I have been learning to give myself grace as well.  I had some pretty lofty hiking goals for myself this month.  Between the weekend weather, family commitments, and some health things, I didn't reach my goal.  It's okay though, a new month is coming so I can set some new goals.  I don't need to beat myself up for what I didn't accomplish, but should find joy in the hikes that I did take.  Grace means giving myself a break.

Grace is hard.  We want everyone to do the right thing...as long as it is our right thing.  That isn't how grace works though.  Grace is considerate. Grace is thoughtful.  Grace is a virtue from God.  Just imagine how different life would be if we all gave grace to others.  I can't speak for anyone else, but I will be trying to give grace to all.  I won't always succeed, but I will keep trying.  I hope that I am given the same grace by others. 

*definition by Merriam-Webster

Hard Things

No, I am not going to talk about 2020, I did that already.  I am not going to talk about what's going on in the world, I just don't have the words.  We have been dealing with some hard things here at home, but we have faced them.  Hopefully we are succeeding! 

I was asked to write something.  I enjoy writing, but it's been a really long time since I was given a topic write about.  Usually I write whatever is on my mind.  I tried to write about any of the topics that I was given, but I struggled.  I was ready to say no, but then I remembered my word for the year...Willing.  Saying no is okay, but I want to be willing to do things that are hard.  I thought back to what an author I know has said about writing...just do a little each day.  I prayed and then shut off all the distraction around me.  The words mostly came and I think they are going to work.  I am still working on the ending, but I know it will come.  

Jim has a fear of dentists, like many of us.  He had a bad experience when he was a child so he puts things off until he just can't anymore.  Thursday he did a hard thing and had several procedures done.  Then he turned around and went to work Friday.  Most of us would have been in bed for a couple of days, but Jim is like that.  He isn't finished, but I know that he will continue.

D went back to school for a new semester.  Because of several events beyond anyone's control, her schedule had to be changed.  She has a couple of classes that only meet during a certain period, which limits her flexibility.  She had some periods with no classes and some with two classes.  She met with her counselor and they came up with some solutions.  Jim and I were part of the discussion, but she had the final say in what she is doing.  She is now taking eight classes instead of seven...two of them virtually.  There will be days that it might seem overwhelming, but she is prepared to put in the work needed.

Probably the hardest thing this week is knowing we can't be physically with Jim's mom right now.  She fell earlier in the week and fractured her hip.  She had surgery Thursday.  Because of COVID, we can't see her at the hospital. She has Alzheimer's and is alone in a strange place.  I am sure that she is in pain, confused and lonely.  It's hard.  We have to trust that the hospital staff is taking care of all her needs.  But it's still a hard thing.

In the big scheme of things, these aren't huge.  We will encounter harder things in life.  The little hard things prepare us for the bigger hard things.  We lean on each other when we have hard things in our life.  We trust that God has a plan for us in these hard things.  We know that hard things will pass...and we will be glad that they are over.   Personally, I am glad that this week is over and I am ready for a new week with fewer hard things happening.

The Word is...

My word for 2021 hasn't been an easy process.  Some years, I just know that the word is right.  Other years I pick a word and doesn't fit.  I struggled.  I found a worksheet that asks questions and lists goals that I have for the upcoming year.  I thought about reusing balance...one of my favorite words ever.  It didn't feel right.  I have used the word intentional before and that's one that kept coming back to me.  I began to look at synonyms for intentional.  Some of the those are good words: determined, deliberate, willing, calculated, intended, conscious.

The dictionary became my friend next in the process.  Determined-make a firm decision and not change...sounds to rigid for my word.  Deliberate-unhurried and methodical, done on purpose...close to what I want.  Willing-done or given readily or gladly...sounds good.  Calculate sounds to much like math.  Intended makes me think of marriage.  Conscious is to hard to say and spell (seriously a thought for me).  Maybe I need to switch gears.

My next list of words in my journal:  Fearless-nope, not the year for that.  Focus-a reused word again.  Mindful-conscious or aware of something, focusing awareness on the present moment...good one. Commit-be dedicated.  Strive-make great efforts to achieve...I like this.  Believe-to accept as true...I like this, but it isn't feeling right.  Journey-a long and difficult process of personal change...scary!

I kept marking no on words as I would read and pray over them.  I brought my list down to four:  Deliberate, Willing, Commit, Strive.  They all have similar meanings and applications, but one just kept standing out due to one word in the definition...gladly.  I do things that are the "right" thing to do, but do I always do them in the right frame of mind?  Do I do things gladly?  

Willing:

done, given, etc., readily or gladly

Because of that one word, gladly, Willing is my word for 2021.  I want to live in the year doing or giving gladly.  I want to be a willing participant in what is happening to me and around me.  I feel like I have often let things happen and just gone with the flow of life, which isn't a bad thing,  but I want to be willing to make the changes that I feel are necessary for me.  I want make those changes gladly!

Stay tuned.  One of the things that I want to do this year is write.  Writing about my word tends to keep my accountable.  I have a goal sheet sheet that I am hoping will help me focus this year.  As always, I have people in my life who help keep me accountable and on the right path!  Here's to 2021, the year of being willing!