2015 is coming to an end. As the year closes, we are all taking time at our house to let go of some of our things that we no longer want or need. We don't go crazy with Christmas gifts, but we do need to make room for the new items that we received. Jim let go of some of his jeans and tee shirts. Delainey actually donated some of her stuffed animals. I need to check out my closet to see what I no longer wear.
I struggle to let go of things that have sentimental value to me. I don't want to let go of things that have been given to me. I have things that don't blend with my style that I am keeping. I talked before about purging my things, but I have been at a stand still lately. I need to go back to what my friend Deb talked about on her blog, keeping things that bring me joy. I don't need to keep the things to remind me of people, I have the memories...and I can always take pictures.
I have a good friend who is doing the hard work of pruning the negative from her life. That hard work is not just getting rid of things, but people as well. I admire her so much, it takes courage to do what she is doing. I don't do drama in my life, but it seems that drama has been creeping in through various people. I need to evaluate those relationships and see if they can become more positive. If not, then I need to decide what I will allow in my life.
I am on vacation for the next week. I need to do spend some time doing the hard work of letting go. I need to evaluate what brings me joy and what is just sitting around taking up space. I need to look at the drama and see if it can be turned around. I need to enjoy my vacation and at the same time, take a look at what I want to take with me into 216.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Strangers
I know that we need to keep our kids (and ourselves) safe, but have we taken "stranger danger" to an extreme? Are we so afraid to step out of our box and speak to strangers that we are missing out? How do we strike a balance between speaking to strangers and keeping safe? I don't know the answers, but I was glad that I welcomed two strangers into my world this week.
The first stranger was a customer in the store where I work. I don't often interact with the customers due to the nature of my job, but during the holidays I spend less time time doing "my" job and more time on the sales floor. I was on a ladder when I sneezed. I don't have a tiny little sneeze...I have been known to wake my family when I sneeze. A customer gave me a "bless you" and I apologized in case I startled her. We had a silly conversation about sneezes that made me smile. You know that you have met one of your people she tells that if she is going to pee when she sneezes, the sneeze should be a big one!
The second stranger that I met was during a tornado warning. We don't have a safe place in our house during storms, but we live close to our church, which has a basement. D and I grabbed the dog, Pink Bear, and Mrs. Hannon and headed to our church to wait out the storm. There was another car in the parking lot. I invited the lady in her car in to share our shelter. As we waited out the storm, we chatted. She shared with me the story of her miraculous healing from cancer. After being told there wasn't much hope or many treatment options left for her, her husband had a dream that she was cured. She had a PET scan done. The scan showed that her tumor, which at the end of her radiation and chemo was still the size of a small ball, was completely gone. She has been completely cancer free for almost 16 years. Her doctors couldn't explain it, but she could...she received a miracle.
Two strangers. Two completely different conversations, but both left me with a smile. All because I stepped out of my box and opened myself to a conversation with a stranger. Maybe it's time to open myself up more to strangers and let them into my world.
The first stranger was a customer in the store where I work. I don't often interact with the customers due to the nature of my job, but during the holidays I spend less time time doing "my" job and more time on the sales floor. I was on a ladder when I sneezed. I don't have a tiny little sneeze...I have been known to wake my family when I sneeze. A customer gave me a "bless you" and I apologized in case I startled her. We had a silly conversation about sneezes that made me smile. You know that you have met one of your people she tells that if she is going to pee when she sneezes, the sneeze should be a big one!
The second stranger that I met was during a tornado warning. We don't have a safe place in our house during storms, but we live close to our church, which has a basement. D and I grabbed the dog, Pink Bear, and Mrs. Hannon and headed to our church to wait out the storm. There was another car in the parking lot. I invited the lady in her car in to share our shelter. As we waited out the storm, we chatted. She shared with me the story of her miraculous healing from cancer. After being told there wasn't much hope or many treatment options left for her, her husband had a dream that she was cured. She had a PET scan done. The scan showed that her tumor, which at the end of her radiation and chemo was still the size of a small ball, was completely gone. She has been completely cancer free for almost 16 years. Her doctors couldn't explain it, but she could...she received a miracle.
Two strangers. Two completely different conversations, but both left me with a smile. All because I stepped out of my box and opened myself to a conversation with a stranger. Maybe it's time to open myself up more to strangers and let them into my world.
Thursday, December 24, 2015
She gets it!
As a parent, I always wonder if Delainey understands the things that we are trying to teach her. Some days, I don't think that she understands at all. This year, we were lucky enough to have extra, so we were able to help out a friend in need and take a name from our county's angel tree. The plan was to spend black Friday shopping for these special gifts. More than once, I had to remind her that our budget was not for us, but for others. It was hard and frustrating. I questioned whether or not she understands that others won't be celebrating Christmas in their own home, without plenty of food, and little to no gifts.
Earlier this month, Jim and I were able to take a group of youth to Indianapolis to work with a church that serves a hot meal on Sundays to the homeless and needy. D was the youngest member on the team working. She jumped right in and asked to work in the kitchen. She helped wash dishes, worked on the line serving the food, and then jumped onto the cleanup detail. She hasn't said much about the experience, other than she wants to go again, but I could tell that she was taking it all in.
As part of Advent, we are doing a Jesse tree devotion using her Jesus Storybook Bible (can you tell that I love this book?). We read a story each night and then one of us prays. One night after reading the story of David and Goliath, D prayed. She thanked God that he uses the small and the weak to do His work. Be still my heart! She is listening to the stories and lessons that she hears. She is taking it in and making it meaningful to her.
Our church hosts a Blue Christmas service for the community. It is a service that acknowledges that not everyone is excited about Christmas, that personal issues are preventing people from enjoying the season. D and I went, not because we are sad this season, but because we support our church programs. D helped throughout the service, lighting the Advent candles, passing out tea lights to people as they shared their sorrows, passing out blue ornaments to decorate the tree. She was very serious as she listened to people share their sorrows. During the service she was crying. She couldn't explain why. She regretted not lighting a candle for her sister that I miscarried. She did tell me that she was glad that we went. She saw the joy in people as we finished decorating the blue Christmas tree. It was a meaningful service for both of us.
I sometimes forget that she is 9. There are going to be days that the whole world revolves around her. And it will frustrate me...but heck, there are days that I think the world should revolve around me. But I am seeing that there are more days in the life of my little girl, that she sees the bigger picture. She sees sorrow and loss and pain of others. She wants to be part of the solution. She really does get it!
Earlier this month, Jim and I were able to take a group of youth to Indianapolis to work with a church that serves a hot meal on Sundays to the homeless and needy. D was the youngest member on the team working. She jumped right in and asked to work in the kitchen. She helped wash dishes, worked on the line serving the food, and then jumped onto the cleanup detail. She hasn't said much about the experience, other than she wants to go again, but I could tell that she was taking it all in.
As part of Advent, we are doing a Jesse tree devotion using her Jesus Storybook Bible (can you tell that I love this book?). We read a story each night and then one of us prays. One night after reading the story of David and Goliath, D prayed. She thanked God that he uses the small and the weak to do His work. Be still my heart! She is listening to the stories and lessons that she hears. She is taking it in and making it meaningful to her.
Our church hosts a Blue Christmas service for the community. It is a service that acknowledges that not everyone is excited about Christmas, that personal issues are preventing people from enjoying the season. D and I went, not because we are sad this season, but because we support our church programs. D helped throughout the service, lighting the Advent candles, passing out tea lights to people as they shared their sorrows, passing out blue ornaments to decorate the tree. She was very serious as she listened to people share their sorrows. During the service she was crying. She couldn't explain why. She regretted not lighting a candle for her sister that I miscarried. She did tell me that she was glad that we went. She saw the joy in people as we finished decorating the blue Christmas tree. It was a meaningful service for both of us.
I sometimes forget that she is 9. There are going to be days that the whole world revolves around her. And it will frustrate me...but heck, there are days that I think the world should revolve around me. But I am seeing that there are more days in the life of my little girl, that she sees the bigger picture. She sees sorrow and loss and pain of others. She wants to be part of the solution. She really does get it!
Thursday, December 10, 2015
'Tis the Season
I love Christmas, I think everyone knows that about me. In our house, we start decorating for Christmas in November. All three of us enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells of Christmas. In the past, I have over planned for us and often left us all tired. I end up disappointed that we didn't do something that was on our list. This year, I have changed my focus. I have lowered my expectations and focused more on the peace of the season. I am doing things daily this year to prepare the reason that we celebrate Christmas in our house. I am celebrating the season of Advent.
Last year, I tried to do an elaborate Jesse tree, with paper ornaments that needed colored, long scripture readings for each day, and I failed. I had the tree ready, but not the ornaments. I think that we did one or two days together as a family and then, nothing. This year, we are using my favorite storybook Bible, The Jesus Storybook Bible, as our Advent reading. The stories are simple, sweet, and all of them lead to Jesus. After we read the story, one of us will say a prayer and then we put a simple circle ornament on our Jesse tree. This time that we spend together as a family has been such an amazing time for all of us. To hear Delainey read one of the stories or listen to Jim pray just makes my heart happy.
Each morning before I hit the shower, I have been reading a daily reflection that one of my Facebook friends shared. I am enjoying the readings and reflections each day. The readings and reflections give me pause throughout the day. I like starting my mornings with this. It doesn't take long for me to read and I have time throughout the day to process what I have read. I end my day with an Advent reading that I received from my church. My day is beginning and ending with words that are building me up, giving me strength and knowledge.
As I am experiencing this season that we refer to as Christmas, I am taking time to enjoy the season of Advent. I am taking time to reflect and worship. I am taking time to prepare my heart to celebrate the birth of my Saviour. I am taking time to enjoy my family and count my blessings. I hope that everyone is able to take some time in the stillness and just be in the moment.
Last year, I tried to do an elaborate Jesse tree, with paper ornaments that needed colored, long scripture readings for each day, and I failed. I had the tree ready, but not the ornaments. I think that we did one or two days together as a family and then, nothing. This year, we are using my favorite storybook Bible, The Jesus Storybook Bible, as our Advent reading. The stories are simple, sweet, and all of them lead to Jesus. After we read the story, one of us will say a prayer and then we put a simple circle ornament on our Jesse tree. This time that we spend together as a family has been such an amazing time for all of us. To hear Delainey read one of the stories or listen to Jim pray just makes my heart happy.
Each morning before I hit the shower, I have been reading a daily reflection that one of my Facebook friends shared. I am enjoying the readings and reflections each day. The readings and reflections give me pause throughout the day. I like starting my mornings with this. It doesn't take long for me to read and I have time throughout the day to process what I have read. I end my day with an Advent reading that I received from my church. My day is beginning and ending with words that are building me up, giving me strength and knowledge.
As I am experiencing this season that we refer to as Christmas, I am taking time to enjoy the season of Advent. I am taking time to reflect and worship. I am taking time to prepare my heart to celebrate the birth of my Saviour. I am taking time to enjoy my family and count my blessings. I hope that everyone is able to take some time in the stillness and just be in the moment.
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Food for thought
In October, Jim went on an Emmaus Walk. If you have never been, I encourage you to find out more about the weekend, there just aren't words to describe the weekend. I went on my Walk in 2013 and tried to describe my time, but didn't have the words (although I tried in a blog post). I still don't! It can be a truly life changing weekend. Jim's walk has changed not just him, but our entire family. I have been challenged in so many ways since he has been home. Jim came home and has really put Christ in the center of his life...and in doing so, has made me focus so much more as well. By following Jim's example, I am learning to keep Christ as my center as well.
One of the things I am being led to do, is watch what I am filling myself with. I love to read...almost any type of book. I just finished a book for my book club and as I was reading, I was being nudged. The book was very suspenseful and very dark. My heart would race as I was reading because of the subject matter. It was a good book, but was it good for me? Do I need a book that talks about the darker side of life? It the book nourishing me in a positive way? How would I feel if D started to read this book? I have decided that I need to monitor the type of books that I read. I don't think that everything has to be happy, fluffy, and fun, but I want the books to have a more positive message for me.
Jim and I have also been discussing the movies that we have in our house and the tv shows that we watch. Not everything has to be family friendly, but we want things that we don't have to worry about what Delainey will see if she watches them. I don't have a problem with movies that are fantasy, like the Harry Potter movies, or even the Hunger Game movies. The Hunger Game movies are not age appropriate for D yet, but there will be a time when she will be okay to watch them. Other movies that we have, I don't see us sitting down as a family to watch them ever, so why am I still keeping them? Don't think that we have a stash of X-rated movies laying around the house, we don't. But do we need to keep movies that have more adult themed material? Probably not.
I am not going to judge anyone for what they are reading, watching, or listening to. Everyone has to make their own decisions about what is acceptable. I am just finding that my level of acceptance for me is changing. I want things to fill my mind with positive thoughts and images. I don't want to read a book that scares me with what could be. I don't want to watch a movie that is full of images that I don't need to see. I want to take steps to keep my books and movies appropriate for me and my family. I think that this will be a painful process for me. I don't like to let books and movies go, but for me, it feels like that is what I am being led to do.
One of the things I am being led to do, is watch what I am filling myself with. I love to read...almost any type of book. I just finished a book for my book club and as I was reading, I was being nudged. The book was very suspenseful and very dark. My heart would race as I was reading because of the subject matter. It was a good book, but was it good for me? Do I need a book that talks about the darker side of life? It the book nourishing me in a positive way? How would I feel if D started to read this book? I have decided that I need to monitor the type of books that I read. I don't think that everything has to be happy, fluffy, and fun, but I want the books to have a more positive message for me.
Jim and I have also been discussing the movies that we have in our house and the tv shows that we watch. Not everything has to be family friendly, but we want things that we don't have to worry about what Delainey will see if she watches them. I don't have a problem with movies that are fantasy, like the Harry Potter movies, or even the Hunger Game movies. The Hunger Game movies are not age appropriate for D yet, but there will be a time when she will be okay to watch them. Other movies that we have, I don't see us sitting down as a family to watch them ever, so why am I still keeping them? Don't think that we have a stash of X-rated movies laying around the house, we don't. But do we need to keep movies that have more adult themed material? Probably not.
I am not going to judge anyone for what they are reading, watching, or listening to. Everyone has to make their own decisions about what is acceptable. I am just finding that my level of acceptance for me is changing. I want things to fill my mind with positive thoughts and images. I don't want to read a book that scares me with what could be. I don't want to watch a movie that is full of images that I don't need to see. I want to take steps to keep my books and movies appropriate for me and my family. I think that this will be a painful process for me. I don't like to let books and movies go, but for me, it feels like that is what I am being led to do.
Friday, October 2, 2015
Books...My Top Ten
I was reading a list of someones top ten books and started to think about my own top ten. I love to read. A good day for me is getting to curl up and read until I am sleepy....and when I wake up, I read some more. I don't get many days like that...my reading happens on my lunch break or when we are on road trips. My favorite books are books that I can read over and over again. And many of them seem to be classified as young adult ficiton. The characters in the books come alive to me, and they always have. I can forget about everything when I am wrapped up in a book (maybe that's part of why I love series so much). Without further ado (because I know that you can't wait), here is my top ten favorite books (in no particular order of course)
1. The Chronicles of Narnia series by CS Lewis. I remember checking them out of my church library in junior high...and being impatient when I was ready for the next book and someone else wasn't done! The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe was one of the first books that I read to my class when I was teaching sixth grade a long time ago.
2. The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. I was one of those people standing in line waiting to get my copy as soon as it was released. And I didn't sleep much until I was done with the book! My stepson Shane was the first to tell me about these books and I was so excited to discuss them with him when we were both finished!
3. The Dark is Rising series by Susan Cooper. I don't know many people who have read these books, but I remember reading them with my students and we were all so excited to discuss the books. Dont' watch the movie (The Seeker) based on one of the books...it's awful, but the book...wonderful!
4. The Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Love...and I love that my daughter loves reading them now too! That's all I have to say about them!!
5. Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls. Again, another read-a-loud to my students. Not a dry eye in the room as I read about Little Ann and Old Dan, including mine.
6. The Hunger Game series by Suzanne Collins. This series is one of the newest on the list, but I have read them all over and over again already!
7. The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones. This book tells the Bible stories in a different way, every story points to Jesus. Most books say "the end" when it's done...but this one says "to be continued", what a great way to end a Bible! It's for younger children, but Delainey and I read it together often. This Christmas we are going to use it as part of our family Advent time.
8. Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. This is a daily devotional that really spoke to me. There were days that I just sighed after reading the devotional and thought, yes...this is how I feel!
9. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. A disturbing story that shows a future that isn't pleasant. Sadly, I see things happening today that happen in the book. I really think that everyone (especially women) should read this book!
10. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. I love reading about Jo March and her sisters. I wished that I had sisters to fight with. love, play with, and just to have. I still miss the bond of sisterhood, and I know that not all sisters act the way the March sisters do, but oh how this book made me feel like I had sisters!
If you are stuck for a book to read, try one of my favorites! Let me know what you think about my list!
1. The Chronicles of Narnia series by CS Lewis. I remember checking them out of my church library in junior high...and being impatient when I was ready for the next book and someone else wasn't done! The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe was one of the first books that I read to my class when I was teaching sixth grade a long time ago.
2. The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. I was one of those people standing in line waiting to get my copy as soon as it was released. And I didn't sleep much until I was done with the book! My stepson Shane was the first to tell me about these books and I was so excited to discuss them with him when we were both finished!
3. The Dark is Rising series by Susan Cooper. I don't know many people who have read these books, but I remember reading them with my students and we were all so excited to discuss the books. Dont' watch the movie (The Seeker) based on one of the books...it's awful, but the book...wonderful!
4. The Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Love...and I love that my daughter loves reading them now too! That's all I have to say about them!!
5. Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls. Again, another read-a-loud to my students. Not a dry eye in the room as I read about Little Ann and Old Dan, including mine.
6. The Hunger Game series by Suzanne Collins. This series is one of the newest on the list, but I have read them all over and over again already!
7. The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones. This book tells the Bible stories in a different way, every story points to Jesus. Most books say "the end" when it's done...but this one says "to be continued", what a great way to end a Bible! It's for younger children, but Delainey and I read it together often. This Christmas we are going to use it as part of our family Advent time.
8. Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. This is a daily devotional that really spoke to me. There were days that I just sighed after reading the devotional and thought, yes...this is how I feel!
9. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. A disturbing story that shows a future that isn't pleasant. Sadly, I see things happening today that happen in the book. I really think that everyone (especially women) should read this book!
10. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. I love reading about Jo March and her sisters. I wished that I had sisters to fight with. love, play with, and just to have. I still miss the bond of sisterhood, and I know that not all sisters act the way the March sisters do, but oh how this book made me feel like I had sisters!
If you are stuck for a book to read, try one of my favorites! Let me know what you think about my list!
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Doctors and Dentists and Chiropractors, Oh My!
The last few months have been filled with medical appointments of one kind or another at our house. Every time we think we have one issue under control, another one surfaces. I know that we are lucky to be able to see the medical professionals, but I am pretty tired of seeing them all....and there are several more appointments in the future.
Delainey had a six week period where she was a walking, talking snot machine. The poor girl went through boxes of tissue, coughed herself to sleep at night, and woke up sick to her stomach. She missed the first day of school, was on antibiotics twice, and was not getting any better. We think that we have finally found a medical comfort zone for her right now. She is still taking her allergy medicine that our doctor has given her, we are using essential oils to supplement her allergy and sleep issues, and she is getting adjustments from the chiropractor on a regular basis.
I don't generally have allergy issues, but I have been this year. The allergies haven't hit me in the same way as Delainey though. My eyes started to swell up and itch. I had to use eye drops that were crazy expensive and still didn't seem to help. Jim bought me an ice pack eye mask which helped, but how often can I wear that and work or drive? When I saw the doctor about my eyes, his nurse realized that I turned 50 this year...so she has set me up with a doctor to have a colonoscopy. I haven't made that appointment yet, I am trying to ignore it! I also saw the chiropractor to help with some numbness that I have been having in my arm. And then the dentist...last week 2 fillings, a root canal, and a temporary crown. In 3 weeks, 4 more fillings and the permanent crown. Yay me!
Jim chipped a tooth and had to get crowns on his two front teeth. Poor man hates the dentist, but was really happy with the treatment that our dentist gave him. He started seeing our chiropractor as well. Jim has had numbness in both of his arms for years. I honestly don't know how he has dealt with it. He seems to be getting some relief with the treatments. Last weekend, he was having some heart pains. He didn't want to go to the er after we were about half way there, so I took him home with the promise that he would see the doctor on Monday. Tomorrow he is having a cardiac catheterization done. We are hoping and praying that there are no problems, but are trusting that God will be taking care of Jim.
When I look at all the issues that we have had, I sometimes get overwhelmed. But, I am lucky that Jim and I have insurance to help with the bills. I have confidence in the medical personnel we see. I know that we can get all this "stuff" under control and find our way back to healthy again. It's not going to be easy, but Jim and I are to old to take our health for granted. We have to work at it each day. We need to set the example for Delainey so that she learns good habits that will keep her healthy as she grow. It is a journey for us and we are committed to being healthy again!
Delainey had a six week period where she was a walking, talking snot machine. The poor girl went through boxes of tissue, coughed herself to sleep at night, and woke up sick to her stomach. She missed the first day of school, was on antibiotics twice, and was not getting any better. We think that we have finally found a medical comfort zone for her right now. She is still taking her allergy medicine that our doctor has given her, we are using essential oils to supplement her allergy and sleep issues, and she is getting adjustments from the chiropractor on a regular basis.
I don't generally have allergy issues, but I have been this year. The allergies haven't hit me in the same way as Delainey though. My eyes started to swell up and itch. I had to use eye drops that were crazy expensive and still didn't seem to help. Jim bought me an ice pack eye mask which helped, but how often can I wear that and work or drive? When I saw the doctor about my eyes, his nurse realized that I turned 50 this year...so she has set me up with a doctor to have a colonoscopy. I haven't made that appointment yet, I am trying to ignore it! I also saw the chiropractor to help with some numbness that I have been having in my arm. And then the dentist...last week 2 fillings, a root canal, and a temporary crown. In 3 weeks, 4 more fillings and the permanent crown. Yay me!
Jim chipped a tooth and had to get crowns on his two front teeth. Poor man hates the dentist, but was really happy with the treatment that our dentist gave him. He started seeing our chiropractor as well. Jim has had numbness in both of his arms for years. I honestly don't know how he has dealt with it. He seems to be getting some relief with the treatments. Last weekend, he was having some heart pains. He didn't want to go to the er after we were about half way there, so I took him home with the promise that he would see the doctor on Monday. Tomorrow he is having a cardiac catheterization done. We are hoping and praying that there are no problems, but are trusting that God will be taking care of Jim.
When I look at all the issues that we have had, I sometimes get overwhelmed. But, I am lucky that Jim and I have insurance to help with the bills. I have confidence in the medical personnel we see. I know that we can get all this "stuff" under control and find our way back to healthy again. It's not going to be easy, but Jim and I are to old to take our health for granted. We have to work at it each day. We need to set the example for Delainey so that she learns good habits that will keep her healthy as she grow. It is a journey for us and we are committed to being healthy again!
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