I am a slacker. I have so many things that I want to do, but I just don't get them done. I have thoughts in my head that I want to write about, but they don't get written down. I have projects in various states of completion, but very few completed. Christmas is coming up and I have a couple of projects that have to be finished. One year, I didn't get Christmas cards finished until New Years.
I see and hear so many people accomplish things, and I wonder how they do it. I hear people talk about clean houses, laundry completed, and dishes washed, I promise that doesn't happen here. I have one basket of clothes to fold, one to put away and the basket is full of dirty clothes again. I see pictures of beautiful scrapbooks that people make. Delainey is 5 and her scrapbooks are at least two years behind.
My grandpa's birthday was November 5. I wanted to write about him on his birthday, but I didn't get it done. I will write it some day because my grandpa was such a wonderful man and so important to me in my life. I watched "Food Inc" and read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. I have spent so much time thinking about the food that I eat and feed my family. I have wanted to write about it, but I just haven't sat down to do it.
I have stuffed animals to operate on because they have been so well loved. I have a quilt that my mother in law and her mother started. I want to finish it and give it to Delainey. I have started it, but since I am a slacker, it isn't done. Delainey and I started to make an apron last spring. It is almost done, I think it would only take thirty minutes to finish, but it isn't finished.
I know that I am a slacker. I get distracted easily. I get sucked into facebook, I watch to much tv....Bravo, Food Network, TLC, HGTV are my weaknesses. I take naps instead of working on projects.
I am a slacker, but I am trying to reform....
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
One last piece of pie....
10 years ago, I could barely turn on a computer. 5 years ago, I was new to online chatting. Today, I go through withdrawals if I can't get online on a regular basis. 5 1/2 years ago, I was a new mom with lots of questions and very few resources or friends to turn to for support. I discovered a local discussion board called IndyMoms. I lurked for a while before I finally took the plunge and posted. One comment lead to another and I was hooked. I felt like a found a home with other women who had the same problems that I did. My husband called IndyMoms, "The Cult" because I was so involved in the site. Over time, there were many changes, like everything else in life. Finally, the changes were just to much for me and I left the site. It was hard, but it was time for me to move on.
I haven't been an active member in several months, but I never deleted my account. I kept hoping that things would get better, but it didn't. Now the site is shutting down and I am sad. I went back for a last lurk and ended up posting....and I reconnected with a friend that I have missed. That's what the site meant to me-connecting with other women that are now my friends. I am closer to some of these women than my own family. I feel like there is a death in my family. I know that is dramatic, but IndyMoms has been so important to my life.
Delainey and I had our first "playdate" with a group from the site. Only one other mother/daughter showed up. Delainey and I are still friends with that mother and daughter, Liz and T. Because of that meeting, my family eventually found a church home. I went to my first Mom's Night Out because I saw that it wasn't so scary to put myself out there. The women that I met that night are still my friends. I became more outgoing and more willing to reach out to other moms. I joined a group of mom's over thirty (Cosmo Moms). I have small group of women that are all over forty that I meet with monthly. We call ourselves The Kitchen Girls. I have experienced so many things because of the moms that I met on IndyMoms.
Because of this local site, my family got to do so many things. We attended private parties at the Children's Museum. We went to a New Year's Eve party at the Indiana State Museum. Delainey go to meet the Wiggles at a concert. We learned about sprinkle parks, festivals, and kids eat free days! I saw a flash mob downtown, got lost in a parade, and learned about luxurious homeless shelters. We had fun!
Through this site, I watched women support each other in life and in death. We rallied around a member who battled breast cancer. When she lost her fight, we rallied around her family. At Christmas, we came together to provide gifts for families that needed help. We made sure that our members had food for their families. We "Rocked the Circle" by ringing bells for the Salvation Army. We walked together at Race for the Cure and March of Dimes.
The site wasn't perfect. We fought, sometimes bitterly. We had hurt feelings. We talked about pie when things got to heated. But mostly, we were family.
I haven't been an active member in several months, but I never deleted my account. I kept hoping that things would get better, but it didn't. Now the site is shutting down and I am sad. I went back for a last lurk and ended up posting....and I reconnected with a friend that I have missed. That's what the site meant to me-connecting with other women that are now my friends. I am closer to some of these women than my own family. I feel like there is a death in my family. I know that is dramatic, but IndyMoms has been so important to my life.
Delainey and I had our first "playdate" with a group from the site. Only one other mother/daughter showed up. Delainey and I are still friends with that mother and daughter, Liz and T. Because of that meeting, my family eventually found a church home. I went to my first Mom's Night Out because I saw that it wasn't so scary to put myself out there. The women that I met that night are still my friends. I became more outgoing and more willing to reach out to other moms. I joined a group of mom's over thirty (Cosmo Moms). I have small group of women that are all over forty that I meet with monthly. We call ourselves The Kitchen Girls. I have experienced so many things because of the moms that I met on IndyMoms.
Because of this local site, my family got to do so many things. We attended private parties at the Children's Museum. We went to a New Year's Eve party at the Indiana State Museum. Delainey go to meet the Wiggles at a concert. We learned about sprinkle parks, festivals, and kids eat free days! I saw a flash mob downtown, got lost in a parade, and learned about luxurious homeless shelters. We had fun!
Through this site, I watched women support each other in life and in death. We rallied around a member who battled breast cancer. When she lost her fight, we rallied around her family. At Christmas, we came together to provide gifts for families that needed help. We made sure that our members had food for their families. We "Rocked the Circle" by ringing bells for the Salvation Army. We walked together at Race for the Cure and March of Dimes.
The site wasn't perfect. We fought, sometimes bitterly. We had hurt feelings. We talked about pie when things got to heated. But mostly, we were family.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
It is getting better!!
In so many ways, I am back. The move that I was waiting for happened in April. It was wonderful to be in the same house with my husband. I could walk around pantless if I wanted to again (and I did)! Delainey got to see her daddy every day. I was thrilled to have my family under one roof again. I have gained so much respect for people who have to live apart from their partners. I didn't like it at all!
But....I have really struggled personally with this move. I missed my family, friends, church, job. I missed the stores, the malls, the parks, the noise. I missed my short drive to work (15 minutes, including dropping Delainey off at day care). I missed everything about home.
I burrowed into our home. I rarely left the house without Jim or Delainey. I made Jim go the grocery store with me. At my new job, I stayed in my office all the time and rarely talked with people. I traveled home as much as possible. I gained weight, got more grey hair, and cried. I prayed a lot and asked others to pray for me. I considered medication, but that would mean I would have to have a local doctor. I went through the motions of life, but I wasn't enjoying much.
Gradually, it started to get better. We discovered our local library. It is small, but it has books for us all. It also has books on cd for Jim and movies for family movie night. I ventured to the parks with Delainey. We are close to a great state park. I started to chat with my co-workers. I started cooking for my family. We started looking for a church home in our new community.
It still isn't perfect, but it is getting better. I still miss everything about Indianapolis, but I like coming home when we go visit. I enjoy seeing the stars when I get up to leave for work each morning. I won't ever like my drive to work (an hour each way), but I like my job and I like that I only work four days a week. I like our local farmers market. I don't cry every day and I am working on losing the weight that I have gained.
I am enjoying life again!
But....I have really struggled personally with this move. I missed my family, friends, church, job. I missed the stores, the malls, the parks, the noise. I missed my short drive to work (15 minutes, including dropping Delainey off at day care). I missed everything about home.
I burrowed into our home. I rarely left the house without Jim or Delainey. I made Jim go the grocery store with me. At my new job, I stayed in my office all the time and rarely talked with people. I traveled home as much as possible. I gained weight, got more grey hair, and cried. I prayed a lot and asked others to pray for me. I considered medication, but that would mean I would have to have a local doctor. I went through the motions of life, but I wasn't enjoying much.
Gradually, it started to get better. We discovered our local library. It is small, but it has books for us all. It also has books on cd for Jim and movies for family movie night. I ventured to the parks with Delainey. We are close to a great state park. I started to chat with my co-workers. I started cooking for my family. We started looking for a church home in our new community.
It still isn't perfect, but it is getting better. I still miss everything about Indianapolis, but I like coming home when we go visit. I enjoy seeing the stars when I get up to leave for work each morning. I won't ever like my drive to work (an hour each way), but I like my job and I like that I only work four days a week. I like our local farmers market. I don't cry every day and I am working on losing the weight that I have gained.
I am enjoying life again!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Bedtime
Before I was a mom, I had such great visions of bedtime. I would give my child a bath every night. Then I would read a story or two, we would always have a favorite one that we read over and over. After story time, we would snuggle together and say our bedtime prayers. Then my wonderful child would cuddle in his or her blanket with a favorite stuffed animal and go to sleep. I would watch my beautiful child sleep peacefully until morning.
Then I had Delainey. Bath time doesn't happen every night, some nights it is a struggle to get her in the tub, but some how we manage every other night (or so). We do read a story almost every night, no real favorites, which in reality is a good thing. With my luck, she would pick something awful to be her favorite. Bed time prayers are usually peaceful, but not always. Then comes the sleeping part......two hours after everything else.
The first seven months of Delainey's life, we co-slept. When she went to bed, I went to bed. I didn't watch much tv during that time, or read books, or anything. I was a human teddy bear. I loved it and was sad when she decided to sleep alone. The next year or so was great. Delainey would go right to sleep when she was in her crib. Then we moved her to her own room and a toddler bed, and the struggle to sleep started.
There were nights that the child would not go to sleep until well after 10--her bedtime was 7. We removed all of her toys from the room. She had a night light and white noise. It was a struggle. I ended up in tears many nights and Jim would take over. He ended up frustrated as well. Jim's job meant that he stayed with his parents at least 2 nights a week. It was miserable for all of us. We cut down naps at daycare, thinking that she just wasn't tired. Instead she slept in the car ride to and from daycare (45 minutes each way).
We moved closer to work and daycare, no more long car rides morning and night, still took shorter naps at daycare. It didn't help. Jim was home more in the evening, so it was a shared burden. They developed a game called "Pirate Daddy". Delainey would get excited during the game, but would go to sleep. Life got better at bedtime, for a year.
We moved again, this time with Jim's parents while waiting to see where Jim's job would take our family. Bedtime was still okay, not perfect, but better. Jim had to move in January to our new town. Bedtime is once again, my most hated time of day. Bedtime is still 7, most nights she isn't sleeping until well after 8. I know that 8 isn't late, but she has to be up and ready to go by 6:15 so that I can get to work on time. She "reads" at naptime. She has dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. Jim isn't here to play "Pirate Daddy" (and it isn't the same over the phone or with "Pirate Mommy", we have tried).
She plays, I yell. I yell, she cries. She cries, I feel guilt. She sleeps, I cry. I cry and pray. I miss the vision of bedtime I once had. We both miss "Pirate Daddy".
Here's to living under the same roof and a happier bedtime soon!
Then I had Delainey. Bath time doesn't happen every night, some nights it is a struggle to get her in the tub, but some how we manage every other night (or so). We do read a story almost every night, no real favorites, which in reality is a good thing. With my luck, she would pick something awful to be her favorite. Bed time prayers are usually peaceful, but not always. Then comes the sleeping part......two hours after everything else.
The first seven months of Delainey's life, we co-slept. When she went to bed, I went to bed. I didn't watch much tv during that time, or read books, or anything. I was a human teddy bear. I loved it and was sad when she decided to sleep alone. The next year or so was great. Delainey would go right to sleep when she was in her crib. Then we moved her to her own room and a toddler bed, and the struggle to sleep started.
There were nights that the child would not go to sleep until well after 10--her bedtime was 7. We removed all of her toys from the room. She had a night light and white noise. It was a struggle. I ended up in tears many nights and Jim would take over. He ended up frustrated as well. Jim's job meant that he stayed with his parents at least 2 nights a week. It was miserable for all of us. We cut down naps at daycare, thinking that she just wasn't tired. Instead she slept in the car ride to and from daycare (45 minutes each way).
We moved closer to work and daycare, no more long car rides morning and night, still took shorter naps at daycare. It didn't help. Jim was home more in the evening, so it was a shared burden. They developed a game called "Pirate Daddy". Delainey would get excited during the game, but would go to sleep. Life got better at bedtime, for a year.
We moved again, this time with Jim's parents while waiting to see where Jim's job would take our family. Bedtime was still okay, not perfect, but better. Jim had to move in January to our new town. Bedtime is once again, my most hated time of day. Bedtime is still 7, most nights she isn't sleeping until well after 8. I know that 8 isn't late, but she has to be up and ready to go by 6:15 so that I can get to work on time. She "reads" at naptime. She has dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. Jim isn't here to play "Pirate Daddy" (and it isn't the same over the phone or with "Pirate Mommy", we have tried).
She plays, I yell. I yell, she cries. She cries, I feel guilt. She sleeps, I cry. I cry and pray. I miss the vision of bedtime I once had. We both miss "Pirate Daddy".
Here's to living under the same roof and a happier bedtime soon!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
"Wow God" Moment
I had a "Wow God" moment at my Bible study class a few weeks ago. The class I am in is studying the book of Genesis. This is only the second time I have gone to a Bible study, I can't believe that I haven't gone sooner. I certainly don't claim to be much of a scholar. I have to hunt to find things in the Bible. I know the important things....God loves me. I know the stories in the Bible, but I have never taken time to read or study much of the Bible. So during class, I was struck with the lesson from Genesis.
"And God blessed them and said to them, be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves on the earth" Genesis 1:28
I know this verse (not from memory because I have a middle age memory), but when I read it this time, it really struck a chord with me. We are in charge of the earth. God gave us dominion over the animals, we are told to subdue the earth. Wow, what a responsibility that we have been given. I keep saying that I want to recycle, to be more aware of the environment. Now it isn't something that I want to do, it is something that I should do. I can't wait to get moved into our new home and set up a recycling center.
Maybe someone else will read this verse and not see what I see. That's okay with me. This verse has just struck such a chord with me, that I can't wait to read and learn more!
"And God blessed them and said to them, be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves on the earth" Genesis 1:28
I know this verse (not from memory because I have a middle age memory), but when I read it this time, it really struck a chord with me. We are in charge of the earth. God gave us dominion over the animals, we are told to subdue the earth. Wow, what a responsibility that we have been given. I keep saying that I want to recycle, to be more aware of the environment. Now it isn't something that I want to do, it is something that I should do. I can't wait to get moved into our new home and set up a recycling center.
Maybe someone else will read this verse and not see what I see. That's okay with me. This verse has just struck such a chord with me, that I can't wait to read and learn more!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tired
This move is wearing me out.
I miss Jim.
Delainey misses her daddy.
I have clothes here and there, but never where I need them.
I am ready to start my new job.
Mostly, I ready to have my family under the same roof.
I miss Jim.
Delainey misses her daddy.
I have clothes here and there, but never where I need them.
I am ready to start my new job.
Mostly, I ready to have my family under the same roof.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Better
I read a book a few years ago about a group of women who met for dinner each month. Every year, they would each choose a word that would define their year. I have wanted to do this ever since, but I haven't until now. This year my word is "better". I don't mean better as in "I am better than anyone else", I want to be a better Nancy. I am not bad, but I know that I can be better in several areas of my life.
A better wife....Jim would tell you that I am a great wife. I know that he is an awesome husband. He is so patient with me. I snap at him. I expect him to read my mind. I expect more from him that I expect from others. I want to snap at him less. I want to express my needs and wants to him so that he doesn't have to read my mind. I want to give him more of my time. Date nights are hard to come by, especially after we move, but I need to give more of my time to us.
A better mom....I am a good mom. There are always ways to be better. I want to play more with Delainey. Sometimes I forget to play with her, I expect her to play alone instead of sitting down to play alongside of her. I need to have a better plan for bedtime. Tonight is a prime example of needing a plan for bedtime, when Delainey finally went to sleep, we were both unhappy. I want her to have great memories of childhood. I want to make sure that I do better all of the time as a mom.
A better Christ-follower...I attended church when I was in school. During college, I stopped attending church and I didn't find a church home until a year ago. That was a long time to be without a church. I never stopped believing in God, but I stopped having a relationship with him. During the past year, I know that my faith has become stronger and deeper. I have a relationship with Christ that is very important to me now. I want that relationship to be better because I think all of my relationships will grow stronger.
A better Nancy...I want to spend time with me, learning about the things that I enjoy and then doing them more! I want to be healthier, which means more exercise, less processed foods, more local foods. I just want to be the best me that I can become.
At the end of the year, I hope that "better" has been a true theme for me.
A better wife....Jim would tell you that I am a great wife. I know that he is an awesome husband. He is so patient with me. I snap at him. I expect him to read my mind. I expect more from him that I expect from others. I want to snap at him less. I want to express my needs and wants to him so that he doesn't have to read my mind. I want to give him more of my time. Date nights are hard to come by, especially after we move, but I need to give more of my time to us.
A better mom....I am a good mom. There are always ways to be better. I want to play more with Delainey. Sometimes I forget to play with her, I expect her to play alone instead of sitting down to play alongside of her. I need to have a better plan for bedtime. Tonight is a prime example of needing a plan for bedtime, when Delainey finally went to sleep, we were both unhappy. I want her to have great memories of childhood. I want to make sure that I do better all of the time as a mom.
A better Christ-follower...I attended church when I was in school. During college, I stopped attending church and I didn't find a church home until a year ago. That was a long time to be without a church. I never stopped believing in God, but I stopped having a relationship with him. During the past year, I know that my faith has become stronger and deeper. I have a relationship with Christ that is very important to me now. I want that relationship to be better because I think all of my relationships will grow stronger.
A better Nancy...I want to spend time with me, learning about the things that I enjoy and then doing them more! I want to be healthier, which means more exercise, less processed foods, more local foods. I just want to be the best me that I can become.
At the end of the year, I hope that "better" has been a true theme for me.
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