It's the weekend!!

     I am so excited that the weekend is finally here.  I don't have any "big" plans, but I look forward the the weekend all the time!

     I am usually off on Thursdays, but I worked this week.  Thursday is my day to do laundry, clean house, and just have some alone time.  I really missed my Thursday.  Thankfully, Jim has taken over and given me time off! Last night he sent me to bed at 8 pm.  I was out for the night!  He took over the evening!

     Tomorrow, Delainey and I are making gingerbread houses.  We bought a kit (yep, a kit for those of us who are lazy) that has five smaller houses. This is one of the traditions that she and I have together and we enjoy the mess that we make!

     We have to grocery shop tomorrow as well.  Like Old Mother Hubbard our cupboards are bare.  Hopefully we can get in and out quickly.....

     Christmas preparations are almost done.  I did a little more shopping today.  I still have some giftcards to buy and a book to get.  There is only a little more wrapping to do as well.  I haven't sent cards out yet because I am still waiting for our pictures to come back.  I am going to have to send them out soon, pictures or not.

     We are going to be childless for a few days.....school will be out, so Delainey will be spending some time with Mamaw and Papaw.  The house is always quiet when she is gone, but she needs time with her grandparents.

     Sunday we are going to try church again to see if Delainey will sit through a service.  I hope so, I miss not attending church every Sunday. Next Sunday we will be home, so we can worship with our church family.  I know that we will find a place to attend down here, but it just takes time! We have a Christmas party Sunday  evening.  I am sure that it will be a relaxing time for all of us!

Happy Weekend to all!!

Thanksgiving Leftovers

     This isn't about the yummy turkey sandwich kind of leftovers, I didn't have any of those this year.  I started the month of November with a daily Facebook posting about something that I am thankful for.  Then my computer decided to take a vacation for a few days.  When it came back home, I was out of the habit.  There are some important people that I didn't get to mention in my daily gratitude posting, so here are my "leftovers".

     I am very thankful for my family.  We don't always agree with each other, but we are always there for each other.  I have never had a "traditional" family, but it is mine.  My mom, my brother, and I were a team.  I grew up spending holidays with my aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins.  I miss those times of celebrating with my extended family.  I have wonderful inlaws who welcomed me into their family very easily.  When Jim and I married, I gained two sons.  Being a step-parent isn't always easy, but Shane and Dylan have always made it interesting!  Delainey is truly my miracle child.  She is so much like me, but she is also her own person.  She makes life fun!

     I am very thankful for my friends.  I have been so lucky with the friends that are part of my life.  There are days that they make me laugh out loud.  They cry with me, laugh with me, and support me in so many ways.  I have talked about my friends before, but they deserve an extra shout out here as well!

     I am thankful for my amazing husband.  Jim is my partner in life.  He knows when I need my space and when I need to be pushed.  He can make me laugh with just a look.  He is my best friend and I enjoy his company.  He is my safe space in the craziness of life.  He makes me smile!

     Most importantly, I am thankful for my Lord and Saviour, Jesus.  I know that I am so blessed in my life.  I have rough times, but the good outweigh the bad times.  The thanks and praise all go to God.  He makes all the things in my life better!

Christmas Traditions

     I  love, love, love Christmas!  I love sappy Christmas movies and old tv shows, musicals and Christmas songs.  I love decorating and shopping, wrapping presents and sending cards.  I love the scents and excitement of the season.  I love spending time with friends and family.  I love the traditions that come along with Christmas.

     Jim and I have worked to build traditions for our family.  Some of them we have planned, some have just happened.  Our first married Christmas, we bought a Waterford crystal ornament.  We buy one every year now.  It is a big decision for our family deciding which one will be on our tree.  This year, we have a crystal tree--I was out-voted, maybe next year I can get the shamrock.


     We also take one day to go shopping.  Jim and I start when the stores open and shop until we have to be home.  Some years we have a list, others we just shop.  Last week, we finished most of our shopping in one day. We spend the day together, have a lunch out and just enjoy the time with each other!  We window shop and people watch.  We reconnect with each other during this busy time of  year.

     Delainey has brought some new traditions to our family as well.  She loves to look at light displays, so we try to get out a couple of times in the evenings to see all the wonderful lights.  Last year her Sunday school class made paper chains with activities for the days leading up to Christmas.  It was so much fun that we did it again this year.  It keeps the "how many days until Christmas" in check.  We have spent time each year ringing bells for the Salvation Army as well.  Since I am a slacker,  I didn't get our plans made soon enough, but next year we will be ringing again!

     This year everyone is talking about their "Elf on the Shelf".  We don't have an elf, but we have Mary and Joesph making their way around our house to the manger in Bethlehem.  Part of Delainey's job is to find where they have gone each day.  Some days she has a hard time finding them, other days she sees them right away.  It is fun to decide where they will be each night!  They will end up in the nativity on Christmas eve and the baby Jesus will be there in the morning.

     Jim and I have had to blend our traditions together.  His family has always done gifts on Christmas eve, mine on Christmas morning.  We found our middle ground by celebrating with his parents and the boys on Christmas eve.  We then spend the Christmas day at our home where Santa has filled stockings and brought gifts to us.  It works for us and we get to spend the day relaxing and playing with our gifts.

     My favorite tradition is remembering what Christmas is really about.....

             "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour,
             which is Christ the Lord
             And this shall be a sign unto you; you will find the babe
             wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."
                                                                           Luke 2:11-12

     Enjoy this Christmas season!

Slacker

     I am a slacker.  I have so many things that I want to do, but I just don't get them done.  I have thoughts in my head that I want to write about, but they don't get written down.  I have projects in various states of completion, but very few completed.  Christmas is coming up and I have a couple of projects that have to be finished.  One year, I didn't get Christmas cards finished until New Years.

     I see and hear so many people accomplish things, and I wonder how they do it.  I hear people talk about clean houses, laundry completed, and dishes washed, I promise that doesn't happen here.  I have one basket of clothes to fold, one to put away and the basket is full of dirty clothes again.  I see pictures of beautiful scrapbooks that people make.  Delainey is 5 and her scrapbooks are at least two years behind.

     My grandpa's birthday was November 5.  I wanted to write about him on his birthday, but I didn't get it done.  I will write it some day because my grandpa was such a wonderful man and so important to me in my life.  I watched "Food Inc" and read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle.  I have spent so much time thinking about the food that I eat and feed my family.  I have wanted to write about it, but I just haven't sat down to do it.

     I have stuffed animals to operate on because they have been so well loved.  I have a quilt that my mother in law and her mother started.  I want to finish it and give it to Delainey.  I have started it, but since I am a slacker, it isn't done.  Delainey and I started to make an apron last spring.  It is almost done, I think it would only take thirty minutes to finish, but it isn't finished.

     I know that I am a slacker.  I get distracted easily.  I get sucked into facebook,  I watch to much tv....Bravo, Food Network, TLC, HGTV are my weaknesses.  I take naps instead of working on projects.

     I am a slacker, but I am trying to reform....
   

One last piece of pie....

     10 years ago, I could barely turn on a computer.  5 years ago, I was new to online chatting.  Today, I go through withdrawals if I can't get online on a regular basis.  5 1/2 years ago, I was a new mom with lots of questions and very few resources or friends to turn to for support.  I discovered a local discussion board called IndyMoms.  I lurked for a while before I finally took the plunge and posted.  One comment lead to another and I was hooked.  I felt like a found a home with other women who had the same problems that I did.  My husband called IndyMoms, "The Cult" because I was so involved in the site.  Over time, there were many changes, like everything else in life.  Finally, the changes were just to much for me and I left the site.  It was hard, but it was time for me to move on. 

     I haven't been an active member in several months, but I never deleted my account.  I kept hoping that things would get better, but it didn't.  Now the site is shutting down and I am sad.  I went back for a last lurk and ended up posting....and I reconnected with a friend that I have missed.  That's what the site meant to me-connecting with other women that are now my friends.  I am closer to some of these women than my own family.  I feel like there is a death in my family.  I know that is dramatic, but IndyMoms has been so important to my life.

     Delainey and I had our first "playdate" with a group from the site.  Only one other mother/daughter showed up.  Delainey and I are still friends with that mother and daughter, Liz and T.  Because of that meeting, my family eventually found a church home.  I went to my first Mom's Night Out because I saw that it wasn't so scary to put myself out there.  The women that I met that night are still my friends.  I became more outgoing and more willing to reach out to other moms.  I joined a group of mom's over thirty (Cosmo Moms).  I have small group of women that are all over forty that I meet with monthly.  We call ourselves The Kitchen Girls.  I have experienced so many things because of the moms that I met on IndyMoms.

     Because of this local site, my family got to do so many things.  We attended private parties at the Children's Museum.  We went to a New Year's Eve party at the Indiana State Museum.  Delainey go to meet the Wiggles at a concert.  We learned about sprinkle parks, festivals, and kids eat free days!  I saw a flash mob downtown, got lost in a parade, and learned about luxurious homeless shelters.  We had fun!

     Through this site, I watched women support each other in life and in death.  We rallied around a member who battled breast cancer.  When she lost her fight, we rallied around her family.  At Christmas, we came together to provide gifts for families that needed help.  We made sure that our members had food for their families.  We "Rocked the Circle" by ringing bells for the Salvation Army.  We walked together at Race for the Cure and March of Dimes.

     The site wasn't perfect.  We fought, sometimes bitterly.  We had hurt feelings.  We talked about pie when things got to heated.  But mostly, we were family.

It is getting better!!

In so many ways, I am back.  The move that I was waiting for happened in April.  It was wonderful to be in the same house with my husband.  I could walk around pantless if I wanted to again (and I did)!  Delainey got to see her daddy every day.  I was thrilled to have my family under one roof again.  I have gained so much respect for people who have to live apart from their partners.  I didn't like it at all!

But....I have really struggled personally with this move.  I missed my family, friends, church, job.  I missed the stores, the malls, the parks, the noise.  I missed my short drive to work (15 minutes, including dropping Delainey off at day care).  I missed everything about home. 

I burrowed into our home.  I rarely left the house without Jim or Delainey.  I made Jim go the grocery store with me.  At my new job, I stayed in my office all the time and rarely talked with people.  I traveled home as much as possible.  I gained weight, got more grey hair, and cried.  I prayed a lot and asked others to pray for me.  I considered medication, but that would mean I would have to have a local doctor.  I went through the motions of life, but I wasn't enjoying much. 

Gradually, it started to get better.  We discovered our local library.  It is small, but it has books for us all.  It also has books on cd for Jim and movies for family movie night.  I ventured to the parks with Delainey.  We are close to a great state park.  I started to chat with my co-workers.  I started cooking for my family.  We started looking for a church home in our new community. 

It still isn't perfect, but it is getting better.  I still miss everything about Indianapolis, but I like coming home when we go visit.  I enjoy seeing the stars when I get up to leave for work each morning.  I won't ever like my drive to work (an hour each way), but I like my job and I like that I only work four days a week.  I like our local farmers market.  I don't cry every day and I am working on losing the weight that I have gained. 

I am enjoying life again!

Bedtime

     Before I was a mom, I had such great visions of bedtime.  I would give my child a bath every night.  Then I would read a story or two, we would always have a favorite one that we read over and over.  After story time, we would snuggle together and say our bedtime prayers.  Then my wonderful child would cuddle in his or her blanket with a favorite stuffed animal and go to sleep.  I would watch my beautiful child sleep peacefully until morning.
 
     Then I had Delainey.  Bath time doesn't happen every night, some nights it is a struggle to get her in the tub, but some how we manage every other night (or so).  We do read a story almost every night, no real favorites, which in reality is a good thing.  With my luck, she would pick something awful to be her favorite.  Bed time prayers are usually peaceful, but not always.  Then comes the sleeping part......two hours after everything else. 

     The first seven months of Delainey's life, we co-slept.  When she went to bed, I went to bed.  I didn't watch much tv during that time, or read books, or anything.  I was a human teddy bear.  I loved it and was sad when she decided to sleep alone.  The next year or so was great.  Delainey would go right to sleep when she was in her crib.  Then we moved her to her own room and a toddler bed, and the struggle to sleep started.

     There were nights that the child would not go to sleep until well after 10--her bedtime was 7.  We removed all of her toys from the room.  She had a night light and white noise.  It was a struggle.  I ended up in tears many nights and Jim would take over.  He ended up frustrated as well.  Jim's job meant that he stayed with his parents at least 2 nights a week.  It was miserable for all of us.  We cut down naps at daycare, thinking that she just wasn't tired.  Instead she slept in the car ride to and from daycare (45 minutes each way). 

     We moved closer to work and daycare, no more long car rides morning and night, still took shorter naps at daycare.  It didn't help.  Jim was home more in the evening, so it was a shared burden.  They developed a game called "Pirate Daddy".  Delainey would get excited during the game, but would go to sleep.  Life got better at bedtime, for a year. 

     We moved again, this time with Jim's parents while waiting to see where Jim's job would take our family.  Bedtime was still okay, not perfect, but better.  Jim had to move in January to our new town.  Bedtime is once again, my most hated time of day.  Bedtime is still 7, most nights she isn't sleeping until well after 8.  I know that 8 isn't late, but she has to be up and ready to go by 6:15 so that I can get to work on time.  She "reads" at naptime.  She has dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep.  Jim isn't here to play "Pirate Daddy" (and it isn't the same over the phone or with "Pirate Mommy", we have tried).

     She plays, I yell.  I yell, she cries.  She cries, I feel guilt.  She sleeps, I cry.  I cry and pray.  I miss the vision of bedtime I once had.  We both miss "Pirate Daddy". 

     Here's to living under the same roof and a happier bedtime soon!