Father's Day

      Growing up, I never felt connected to Father's Day.  I grew up without a biological father.  He made a choice to live his life in a way that didn't include me.  The last time that I saw him I was six.  He died when I was in my mid-twenties.  He lost out on knowing me, but it has taken a long time for me to truly know that the loss was his, not mine.  I don't tell the story of my father often, because I am not looking for sympathy, it is just part of my story.  I spent time in my younger days wondering why I wasn't enough, but I know that it was a lacking in him that caused him not to be present in my life, not in me.  I am pretty sure that marrying my ex-husband was in part due to an absent father.  My ex was tall and a little goofy looking, like photos I have seen of my father...and even more, he was emotionally distant, just like my father.  

     One of the first things that attracted me to Jim while we were still getting to know each other, was the importance of his children.  He carried pictures of the boys with him and showed them off frequently.  He told stories about Shane and Dylan all the time.  I knew all sorts of things about them before I ever met them.  Jim has always worked retail, which means long hours, including weekends and evenings.  When the boys were involved in sports and music, it meant that when he wasn't working, we were at those events.  There were times that I wanted my new husband to myself (I know, selfishness), but with his limited free time, we were at the events of the boys.  Honestly, I wouldn't change those days.  I miss the times of sitting at the ballparks all day, every Saturday, rain or shine, hot or cold.  Those are the things that dads do.  

     I know that there are people today who are not looking forward to the day.  There are the people like me who grew up with a father.  How do you spend the day when everyone else is talking about their awesome fathers and you never experienced that?  There are others who had a wonderful father, but are spending the day without him because he is now deceased.  How do you comfort someone who is mourning while others are celebrating?  There are the men that would love to celebrate the day, but have not had the opportunity to be fathers. 

     Today, I will spend time praying for people like me who grew up with an absent father.  I pray that they have a man who was able to fill that role in their lives. I will pray for those who are struggling today.  I know several people who spend this day in sadness, missing the father that they have lost.  For some, it is the first Father's Day without their father, for others it has been years, but the pain is still fresh.  I don't know their pain, but I know that it is a real and true thing for them.  I also pray for the men that would love to be a father, but for whatever reason, have not been given that chance.  

     Today, I will spend time thanking God for the men like Jim...who are good father's to their children.  I will celebrate the men that are step-fathers to children that are theirs through marriage.  Step-fathers are special people who not only marry the woman that they love, but promise to love her children as well.  I will say a pray of thanksgiving for the men who act as fathers to the fatherless.  Those men see a need in a child and willingly add that child to their life.  I was lucky enough to have several men like that in my life.  Those men will be on my prayer list today!

     So on this day that is all about fathers...celebrate what you have.  If you have memories of an awesome father, share them with someone.  If you have men who made an impact in your life, tell them.  If you know someone who is an awesome father, let them know.  If you are struggling, know that I am praying for you today.  

     Happy Father's Day to all those men who are making a positive impact on a child today.  

Today, I celebrate all that you do!