In my mind vs reality

In my mind:

I have written at least 10 posts since my last one

I have deep cleaned my house.

I have lessons for Children's Church posted and ready until school starts.

I have menu-planned and cooked from scratch at least 4 times a week.

I have all the laundry current, including having it put away.

I have planned out a small garden for the summer.

I have mastered a new position at work.

I have written letters to my friends just to say hi.

I have lost 20 pounds.

I have been exercising daily.

I have been reading my devotional daily.

I have new hair style and color.

The reality:

I finally sat down to write tonight.

The dust gets blown off the shelves occasionally, the dishes are clean, and the vacuum cleaner still works.

I have next Sunday's lesson almost written.

We haven't gone hungry and we get a home cooked meal once or twice a week.

We all have clean clothes to wear every day.

I have friends who garden and they might be willing to share with me!

I am totally overwhelmed with that new position, but inventory is over for another year.

I text and chat with my friends on Facebook.

I haven't gained 20 pounds.

I at least think about exercising daily.

I am behind in my daily devotional, but still reading.

Same old style, same grey hair.

Love

"If I speak in the tongues of men and angels,

but have not love,

I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal"

1 Corinthians 13:1

     I was part of a conversation the other day about the word love.  Many of the people said that they only used the word love for their immediate family.  They feel that if you use the term to much, it loses its meaning. They have no problem telling their spouses or children that they love them (and most say it often to them), but they rarely tell others "I love you".  I think that is sad...I have enough love to go around and I want my friends to know that I love them.

     I love my husband with all my heart.  I tell him often that I love him.  I try to show him every day that I love him.  He tells me the same.  I don't remember the last time that we didn't say I love you at least once during the course of the day.  Jim and I both tell Delainey that we love her every day.  We want her to know that she is loved completely.  We tell the boys that we love them every time we talk to them.  No matter what, they are our children and we will always love them.

     I tell my family members that I love them.  Any time that I talk to my brother, we end the call with saying that we love each other.  I love my family.  We aren't perfect, in fact we have lots of flaws, but I love them all. I would say that I even love the crazy cousin in the family, but I have been told by some that I am the crazy cousin.  I am not sure about that one...

     I don't remember when I started telling my friends that I love them, but I have always loved my friends.  I can't imagine my life without my friends. I cannot imagine not telling them that I love them.  I don't say it every time I talk to them, but I say it often enough to let them know I mean it. Sometimes I tell a friend that I love them because I think that they need to hear it that day.  If you are my friend, I have probably already said that I love you, but if not, just wait, you will hear it at some point!

     I have come to realize that my job here is to show love and to give love to others.  The really cool thing about that, the more that I share my love, the more love I feel from others.  I try (and I fail often) to love people, even when I don't want to love them.  We all need love.  We all need to know that others love us, even when we don't feel lovable.

     Just know, my friends, I truly love you!  I leave you with the most important thought about love:

"This is My commandment:

 that you love one another

as I have loved you"

John 15:12

Stronger....Month Two

     I am still taking baby steps to becoming stronger in 2013.  Rather than trying to make a bunch of big changes all at once, I making slow, gradual changes in my life.  Every three to four weeks, I plan on adding something new to my life.  January I focused on becoming stronger in my faith.  I spent time each day with a devotional, the Bible, and prayer.  I have come to look forward to that time each night.  I truly feel that my faith in God is become stronger and deeper than ever before.

     My next focus is becoming stronger through healthy eating.  I wish that I could say my body craves healthy foods.  It doesn't.  Coke, cookies, Little Debbie snack cakes, Jalapeno Cheddar Cheetos ....mmmmm!  I have found that if I cut these foods out completely, I will binge on them at some point.  I have to portion them out in moderation, which is hard.  There are some foods that I cannot have at home or I will eat them all.  It is better for me to have one ice cream at Dairy Queen than to have an entire gallon at home.  I have gotten much better, but I still have a long way to go!

     I want to eat more "real" foods.  Jim and I agree that real food is much better for all us.  We don't mind paying more for certain things if we know that they are better for our bodies.  Processed foods bother me.  Chemicals in my foods bother me.  Chemicals in my daughter's food bothers me even more.  It is hard to cook from scratch.  It takes time to plan the menu.  It takes time to grocery shop.  It takes longer to prepare the meals.  It is worth the time and effort to feed myself and my family food that is better for us.  I am getting better about making things ahead of time and freezing them for a quick meal.  Much better than going to the local fast food place.

     In the spring and summer months, my family and I make weekly trips to the local farmer's market.  The food is local.  It doesn't have chemicals added to it to make it last longer.  The meat is hormone free and we know the people who raise the cattle.  We can talk to the growers of our food.  We can ask what things are and how they should be cooked.  There is also a local whole food co-op not far from us.  There isn't a large variety (we live in a small town), but we always come away from there with something fun for us to try. I am also going to try my hand at having a small garden this summer.  How much more local can that be?  I am not promising that veggies will grow, but I am going to give it a try~my grandma would be proud of me!

     Hopefully, the steps that I am taking will make me stronger.  I am trying!

Stronger

     I started picking a word for my year two years ago.

     In 2011, I was not in a good place in many ways.  I choose "better" for my word.  I focused on taking baby steps to making my like better and it did get better.  I adjusted to our move, although it took me a long time for that.  I like to think that I became a better wife and mother.  I was able to transfer to a new job that continues to make my life better.

     Last year, my word was "healthy".  It doesn't seem like a good word for 2012 when I factor in the fact that Jim was diagnosed with cancer, but the fact that it was caught early is due to the fact that we found a family doctor that we trust.  We all saw doctors last year when things started to get bad rather than waiting until things were out of control.  We found a church to help with our spiritual health.   Again, we took baby steps to our heath last year, so it was a good word for me, just not in the way that I planned.

     This year, my word is "stronger".  I had another word planned for the year, but stronger ties all aspects of my life together, including the other word.

     Stronger in my faith.

     Stronger in my family.

     Stronger in my body.

     Stronger in my mind.

     Stronger in my talents.

     Stronger in my finances.

     Stronger in my relationships.

     Stronger in ways that I can't even imagine yet!

   

Celebrate!

     I love to celebrate all sorts of occasions, big and small.  On Fat Tuesday, I make gumbo and my version of king cupcakes.  I have decorations for Valentine's Day, St Patrick's Day, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and of course, Christmas!  I love decorating for birthdays, graduations, Fourth of July.  Next week, Jim and I will be celebrating our birthdays (50 for him, 47 for me) and our anniversary (9 years).  Cake and ice cream will be part of the celebrations, not sure how decorative things will be since we are going to be on vacation, but still, there will be a celebration.

     A couple of weeks ago, I went to a celebration of life for a former classmate.  We weren't close, but she was a wonderful, loving, strong woman who touched many lives.  There were tears of sadness because Dee wasn't there, but there were also tears of joy.  Dee brought so many people joy in her life.  She was an amazing woman who will be greatly missed by so many people.  We celebrated the life of Dee and rejoice in the fact that we will see her again some day.

     Next weekend I am going to another celebration of life for a very special man.  Tom always had a smile and a hug for me.  I was always welcome in his home.  I never had to worry that I wouldn't have a ride to any high school event because Tom and his family willingly took me along with them.  He and his wife took me out to the local bar for my first "legal" drink on my 21st birthday.  I am sure that once again there will be tears, but there will be joy along with the sadness.  Tom touched many lives as well, I doubt that he knew how much he was loved.

     I want to take more time in life to celebrate the little things that happen every day.  I want my family and friends to know that they bring joy and love to me every day.  I want them to know how much I enjoy and love them.  I want my life to be a celebration, I don't want to miss the little things because I focus on the big things.  I want to share the joy in my life with others.

My Heart

My heart has been heavy lately.  I have two friends battling cancer.  I was reminded of a former classmate who lost her fight before she even had a chance to live her life.  I have a dear friend who experienced things as a child that no person should have to experience.  Another friend is struggling to get back on her feet.  A coworker is dealing with a family member who was murdered just the other day.  My mind and heart are just having a hard time coping with so much sadness in life right now.

I know that there is a Plan for everything.  My friends with cancer are fighting...one is hoping that her crisis leads others to the Lord, the other is bringing people together in an amazing way.   The friend who was abused as a child reaches out to others to give them comfort and hope for the future.  Other friends are sharing their strength and struggles to move on with life.

I don't normally dwell on such sadness, but so much has been on my heart lately that it has been hard to let go.  Today, I prayed, I prayed hard.  I read what my pastor calls "The Instruction Manual for Life", the Bible.  It gave me comfort.  My scripture today reminded me that the Lord is near and that He can give me peace.  So I am praying for that peace, for me, for my friends, for my church, and for all those that need peace.

                    Rejoice in the Lord always!  I will say it again: Rejoice!

                    Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near. 

                    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by 

                    prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your 

                    requests to God.

                                                  Philippians 4:4-6

Early Morning Conversations

     I am out of bed four mornings a week before sunrise...3am in case you were wondering.  I am usually on the road within forty minutes of rising, unless Facebook is really good!  There really isn't much to do while driving to work at that time of morning.  Not many people are up to talk to, so at times, I talk to myself.  I use the time to pray, listen to music, sing, and get my mind ready for the day ahead.  But some mornings, like today, my passion takes over my brain.  

     We have lived in our new town for almost a year.  We still don't have a church that we call home yet.  We have tried a few churches, but nothing has been the one, for various reasons.  There is a church close to our house that Jim and I both enjoyed.  The people are very friendly, we enjoyed the message, but they have no children's program.  That is a huge issue for a family with a young child.  There is another church that has a children's program, but it is farther away.  I hate that we just can't pack up our church from home and bring it down here.  But we can't do that.  It is time to make a plan for our spiritual health.

     I convinced myself this morning that I need to call the pastor of the church close to us and talk to her.  I need to see if there are any plans for a children's program.  I would even be willing to start a children's program.  I hate stepping out of my comfort zone, but I feel like I need to make every effort to find a home for us.  I don't know if it will change anything, but I know that I need to make the effort