Life without Poise

     I don't even know where to start this post.  As a 48 year old woman, it is embarrassing to admit that I pee my pants.  Buying Poise pads is not a cool thing to do, but for the past year, I should have gotten a bulk discount.  I kept thinking that things would get better, but they didn't.  I had a conversation just under a year ago with my family doctor about my bladder issues.  I decided to wait.  Then I ended up with the flu.  And I was sick for over a month...coughing, puking, peeing for hours at a time.  It was time to see a urologist.  

     The first visit was painless, just a consultation.  The next two visits were not so much fun.  A test to see how full my bladder could get...and then to see how much it leaks.  Yea, not a fun afternoon.  And not easy to maintain any sense of dignity during the test either.  The next test was a scope just to take a look at my inner working.  And then I got the results from the doctor.  His official wording..."I have the bladder of a 67 year old woman" and I "leak like a sieve".  Great...my doctor is a comedian.  Jim thought the doctor should take his show on the road.  The laughter did help with my embarrassment, but still....  

     

     The doctor recommended surgery.  I have never had surgery before, so I was scared.  And he recommended the mesh sling...you know the one that you see all the commercials for.  Hmmmm, what an option.  Jim did some research and we did discuss the medical issues with the doctor.  After weighing the odds, I decided that I wanted relief.  I wanted to be able to run, jump, and sneeze without the fear of wetting my pants.  

     I had surgery two weeks ago.  It went well according to the comedian, I mean doctor.  I didn't have much pain, but I was sore.  According to the nurses, my pain tolerance is pretty high.  I am still recovering slowly.  I sit on a pillow.  I am not ready to run yet and I am not supposed to do any lifting.  I go back to the doctor in three weeks.  Hopefully I will get a clean bill of health.

     So many people have been very supportive.  I have received messages from friends telling me that they have had the surgery and are so happy that they did.  I had other people tell me that a friend of their sisters cousin had it done and it was horrible.  I am choosing to look on the positive side of this surgery.  I am choosing to look forward to being normal again, to not plan my life around a bathroom.  I hope that I am able to overcome the embarrassment so that others wont' have to suffer as I did.  I hope that I can save money and not have to buy anymore Poise pads.

     If you see me playing tag or laughing hard or sneezing without crossing my legs...you know that the surgery was successful!